Letting go of my eating disorder means grieving. It’s a loss. I’m losing my coping mechanism and my support system. I’m cutting out a piece of me, and that’s a wrench, despite it being the right choice.
The excision will leave a hole, and I need to fill it. Whatever I choose has to feel more important than the eating disorder, a solid challenge.
The eating disorder was my world, it’s lies and promises of perfection my everything. That’s hard for crochet to live up to.
(November 5, 2017. Revised July 2021.)