I don’t want to be fat. I’ve been obsessing over it lately, just a little. Maybe a lot. The perceived extra ten pounds is incessantly on my mind. I feel like a failure. Because ten pounds is the difference between being an acceptable human being and scum of the earth. And it’s definitely about the …
I haven’t been watching “The Faculty” and that’s a bit of a problem. “The Faculty” is a movie from 1998, yet another reworking of “The Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. This one takes place in a high school. The adults, as expected, are either oblivious or useless so it’s up to the high-school heroes to …
An eating disorder isn’t really about the body. The problem lies elsewhere. It’s history, nature, both, neither. It makes treatment challenging. Everyone arrives from a different place. For me, anxiety is a large piece of the puzzle. My history is significant but my basically anxious nature is why I went the way I did. Anxiety …
I won’t be getting my happily ever after, at least not the kind that shows up in the romance novels I read and collect and have been devouring of late. I love those stories. It’s one of those secret things I wanted, a partner to grow old with and a big family. The lack thereof …
Continue reading The loss of the original “happily ever after”.
On alternate Mondays, I meet with my therapist. On the phone these days, seeing as we’re locking down and flattening the curve. I don’t mind doing my part but the truth is, virtual appointments are not as effective for me. I adopt a persona, even knowing it’s unhelpful. I become performance me, not me-me. This …
