Recovery, philosophy, mental health, things that interest me, and random poetry.
I’ve been thinking about my “who’s driving the bus” life analogy. It’s been on my mind because my bus is missing. That’s not symbolism, it’s a literal thing. The bus has left the building, or at least my office. The bus analogy is basically this: our lives are a bus ride. Life is better if …
I am an addict. I’m a promiscuous one as well; I don’t have any brand loyalty. Some people don’t believe in an addictive personality. Since I possess one, I tend to disagree. I have spent my life looking for ways to alter my mood, to make me either not-me or absent in my head and …
I thought it was a loose crown. It was only put on six months ago, one of four treatments I could finally afford; three implants and a crown on one of the root canal victims. I like my new teeth and my crown. My cheeks no longer look like they’re collapsing. I can chew solid …
I’m compulsive at times. I have compulsive thoughts; I sometimes engage in compulsive actions. It’s a function of my anxiety and it’s been a problem for decades. The word “compulsive” echoes in my brain when I fall into the behaviour, not so much definitional or descriptive but accusatory and judgmental...
I’m planning on pulling the trigger on some big changes. I’m setting aside the fact that I’m currently depressed. Yes, it will make things more challenging but I’m never fully not depressed anymore, anyhow so waiting for that day is pointless. It’s always possible a change might push my mood up to a more elevated level and since it’s unlikely to make it worse, there’s no downside to giving it a go. I’ve read a few (hundred) books about making positive changes. Recent perusals include ones on quitting smoking, increasing longevity via diet and exercise, and improving wellness with day-to-day activities like music therapy. I’m chock-a-block full of information. So, I decided to put together a plan implementing the bits and pieces of advice, based on changes I want to make to things I do on a daily basis...
"I’ve been giving some thought to an issue that’s come up and I’ve come to a conclusion that startled me: I don’t think I like chocolate very much. This has kind of rocked my world..."
Why isn’t what I do “living a life”? Because I don’t consider it to be. I’m always vaguely apologetic when people ask “what do you do?” I shuffle and deflect and respond that I don’t do much, I kind of write, sort of, it’s nothing really. I dismiss how I spend my days and give the impression that writing isn’t really that important to me...
