I have not felt particularly poetic of late which is odd considering that I favour dark themes and sad stories which currently abound in the here and now...
Poetic of late.
In search of ubiquity (be the same).
It’s an oddity of the human condition that we seek to be both unique and like everyone else. We have distinctions that set us apart but we crave the commonalities that link us together. Lately, however, it seems like we’ve lost sight of the fact that we’re of a type. That differences are okay and unanimity is not a requirement of the human condition...
A broken record.
I feel like a broken record a great deal of the time. A fat, annoying, repetitive broken record. The same problems keep circling around. Yes, I know I’m making progress and yes, I know I’m further on than I was but my god, sometimes my problems bore me...
My recovery reflection.
I can’t see myself properly. It’s frustrating as hell. I distort what I see when I look at myself in mirrors and reflective surfaces. This is unfortunate; I look at my reflection a lot. I need to because when I haven’t seen myself in a while – and “a while” can mean anything from seconds to hours – the image in my head starts to distort. I no longer know what I look like. I lose any sense of my appearance. I start to feel strange, warped, and abnormal. In my head, my self-image becomes almost cubist. It’s a very strange thing. I need to see myself in a mirror to reassure myself that I’m not really a freak...
I don’t always mind my delusional thinking.
I don’t always mind my delusional thinking. I find it helpful at times. It can make the consequences of poor choices more palatable. It can make difficult situations more tolerable. Delusional thinking can minimize potential conflicts; I don’t have to acknowledge transgressions no matter how egregious. Denial, after all, is more than a river in Egypt...
