I forgot the anniversary of my grandmother’s birthday this year. It’s the first time that’s happened since she died. I realized, once I remembered, that after I’m gone, she really will be dead. All the way dead. The people who live only in my memory will be gone as if they never were, lost save …
I won’t be getting my happily ever after, at least not the kind that shows up in the romance novels I read and collect and have been devouring of late. I love those stories. It’s one of those secret things I wanted, a partner to grow old with and a big family. The lack thereof …
Continue reading The loss of the original “happily ever after”.
I admire Commander Data. It must be nice to think clearly no matter the situation, to remain unswayed by emotional tempests. Unless your evil twin implants an evil chip. Thinking clearly is a cherished goal of mine. I’d love to be able to logic my way through the mental chaos that’s inside me all too …
I don’t exercise for good health. For me, exercise is mostly driven by persistent negative thoughts about my body. I exercise because I don’t want to be floppy. I exercise because I don’t want my ass to end up at my ankles. It’s why I like my elliptical. It promises to correct any and all …
I think about death sometimes. I think about being not dead and what that means. I think about all the time I spent, passively and actively trying to get dead. I think about death less than I used to but perhaps more than many other people. At least I suspect I do. When you dance …
It’s flip-flop season again. Once winter ends, I pull all my flip-flops to the front of the closet. It’s rare for anything without a toe strap to adorn my feet from now until the frost returns. Even then I give it a few days. I make sure the cold weather is sticking around before I …
I’ve been losing at cards. Consistently. I’ve been losing at Yahtzee too. And Scrabble, which never happens. I even came close to defeat in Scattergories. For me, that’s losing at the apocalyptic-level. It’s even happening with my apps. Talk about distressing. Apps are supposed to let you win every so often; it’s how they keep …
Continue reading I’ve been losing lately and I don’t like it.
