I’m reading - still- Bessel van der Klok’s The Body. And listening to an excellent playlist. And standing because I sit too much in general. I’ve heard sitting is the new smoking. Like we’re not all going to die at some point. Random thoughts keep intruding and my attention keeps wandering. Would I have been …
I don’t want to be fat. I’ve been obsessing over it lately, just a little. Maybe a lot. The perceived extra ten pounds is incessantly on my mind. I feel like a failure. Because ten pounds is the difference between being an acceptable human being and scum of the earth. And it’s definitely about the …
An eating disorder isn’t really about the body. The problem lies elsewhere. It’s history, nature, both, neither. It makes treatment challenging. Everyone arrives from a different place. For me, anxiety is a large piece of the puzzle. My history is significant but my basically anxious nature is why I went the way I did. Anxiety …
I am an addict. I’m a promiscuous one as well; I don’t have any brand loyalty. Some people don’t believe in an addictive personality. Since I possess one, I tend to disagree. I have spent my life looking for ways to alter my mood, to make me either not-me or absent in my head and …
I thought it was a loose crown. It was only put on six months ago, one of four treatments I could finally afford; three implants and a crown on one of the root canal victims. I like my new teeth and my crown. My cheeks no longer look like they’re collapsing. I can chew solid …
