I’m wearing pants today. This is a big win – I haven’t worn pants in a long time. This isn’t to say I walk around in only skirts, or naked from the waist down. But pants, or rather tailored trousers, are a challenge. Historically, I only wear oversized or covered-up. [i] I have four pairs of baggy track pants that make up the majority of … Continue reading Clothing and eating disorders – it’s complicated.
If I use the phrase, “my first book,” it might perhaps push me to work on the autobiography that sits unopened and glaring at me from the corner of my desktop. It’s been some time since I dusted it off, and while I think I probably should, that’s not going to happen today. I’m avoidant. I’m reeling a bit from an interaction with my daughter, … Continue reading My first book, revisted.
I don’t like doughnuts. I find them greasy and mostly unsatisfying. I wonder if I’d have developed an affection for them if I hadn’t developed an eating disorder. Foods like doughnuts are forbidden. They’re empty calories that will definitely make you fatter than you are. You eat a doughnut when you have an eating disorder, and your brain will lecture you about that personal failure … Continue reading Apple fritters for breakfast.
* Eating disorders are easily-triggered bastards. I’ve realized that this is because it doesn’t want me to have information that might help. Articles and stories about eating disorder recovery tend to make those of us suffering very uncomfortable. I often called “bullshit” on the information within. I also didn’t sit with uncomfortable feelings well. It would lead to an increase in anxiety and an explosion … Continue reading Eating disorders destroy the gut.