Do you want success?

Do you want success? Do I? You’d expect the answer to be “of course” but I’m not entirely sure. That’s not to say I don’t have fantasies of developing a following in the millions, winning an award (an Oscar would be nice, despite the fact that I’m not involved in the entertainment industry), or becoming very rich. But I do little in the way of pursuing actions that would support those outcomes. I’m not pushing for any of those things. I guess the answer to the question is, it depends. Whether or not I want it, and whether or not I feel I’ve achieved it depends on the definition you use...

What about podcasts?

I don’t listen to podcast. I wish I did, sort of. Some of them seem quite interesting. I try periodically but I find multitasking to them ineffectual; they don’t work as background noise the way music does. You have to pay attention. If I try to multitask while they’re playing, I don’t take in what I’m listening to and the task I’m trying to perform ends up half-assed. I have the same problem with audiobooks. I can’t do anything but listen and since that’s the case, I prefer to read. Sitting and doing nothing but listening is difficult for me...

Unclench your hands.

I’ve been having trouble meditating of late. I have a serious case of monkey brain and can’t seem to stop following trains of thought. The state of the world. Climate change. Politics. My kids. My parents. The oft-annoying cat. My depression. My self-harm. Last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Did I remember to add bleach to the grocery list? My thoughts bounce like balls in my head...