In A Rut

I’ve been in a rut that I can’t quite shake. Part of that was the annual spring depression, though that’s waning now. Unfortunately, the rut hasn’t filled itself in, nor do I find myself magically out of it, ready to start walking up the street. It would be easier to get going if the rut didn’t appear to be filled with heavy mud. Harder climbing that way. Much easier to embrace the status quo.

I perhaps need a drill sergeant, though the idea of enlisting seems extreme. Unlikely they’d have me, anyhow, seeing as I’ve less than a decade left until retirement age.

I thought about hiring a life coach, but that still requires some effort on my part. It’s my understanding that they’re not actually allowed to cattle prod you into action and compliance.

I want to feel like I’m moving forward in my life. I want to feel like rubber is meeting road, and we’re off to the races, not feel like I’m spinning my wheels, going nowhere fast.

It’s possible that death-scrolling social media doesn’t help. Setting aside the often deleterious effect on the mood, it’s an absolute time-suck. You think to check in on the platform du jour for a moment, but when you look up, the better part of an hour has passed.

Is it then ironic that social media helped me find a potential rut solution?

75 Hard

I’m not sure why the algorithm gods sent me post after post of people embracing the seventy-five hard program/lifestyle change. If you are unsure as to what seventy-five hard is, I’ll explain.

The seventy-five hard challenge was started by podcaster Andy Frisella. It’s part nutrition, part fitness plan, and part improving “mental toughness” by pushing through inertia to find long-lasting improvements to your health and outlook.

It’s extreme: the original plan has not much in the way of margin for error or grace. If you fail to achieve any one of the five goals, the program resets, and you start again on day one. Not so bad if you stumble on day three, not great if you slip on day sixty-seven. And while its fans are an impassioned crowd, it’s important to remember that with this plan, as with many others, reports of successes are primarily anecdotal. Just another reason why I’m a fan of the tweak. Happiness is personalization.

“The 75 Hard Challenge is designed to push you to improve in the areas of physical fitness, emotional resilience and mental insight — all within the context that you should press on when faced with indecision, pain or discomfort. The five areas you work on are designed to fulfill the needs of the mind, body, and spirit, while resulting in noticeable improvement.”

I’m not a fan of the one-true-way even when I need to be making changes, and I don’t embrace dogmatic adherence now that I’m in eating disorder recovery – it was very much a fan of that kind of thing.

A seventy-five-day commitment also felt a bit much, so I’m doing a soft start with thirty days to see how it goes. I’m feeling optimistic about the requirements. Most of them seem doable. It’s the doing, and not in the skillset, where I struggle.

5 Pillars

• Follow the nutrition plan of your choice, but no alcohol, and no cheat meals.
  • I feel good about this one. I’ve already kiboshed the booze, so I’m halfway there. I’m going to work hard to include protein at every meal, and to up my consumption of fruits and vegetables.
• Execute two 45-minute workouts every day, one outside, and one recovery day a week.
  • I’m feeling good about this one, too. The dog walks see me exercising outside more often than this requirement demands. I’m not going to consider it done, however. I’m counting the dog walks as one exercise requirement finished. I want to get back to the pre-dog habit of completing more formal exercise routines. I want to get back to moving weights and practicing yoga. I like being strong. Menopause will take that quickly if you’re not careful.
• Drink three to four litres of water a day (drink about a gallon of water a day).
  • Three for three. I drink a lot of water over the course of the day. Part of that is to mitigate the dry mouth from my meds, but part is also habitual: I’m simply used to drinking regularly. I always have a glass of something nearby. I received a SodaStream for my birthday, and I’ve become a fizzy water fan as well.
  • If drinking this much represents a drastic change, add it slowly so your body and bladder have a chance to adjust. Contrary to what some people think about drinking several litres a day, I don’t have to pee all the time. I do get quite parched if I hold off.
• Read (at least) ten pages of non-fiction or personal development writing every day.
  • This one is going to require effort. I’ve become lazy with my reading. On the bright side, I have a large pile of unread non-fiction to choose from. I also might revisit some Stoic philosophy. It’s always a good day to reread Epictetus’ The Enchiridion. Chuck Chakrapani wrote a modernized version called The Good Life Handbook that I highly recommend.
• Take a progress picture.
  • I had big plans to take a daily selfie that never materialized. I did not push through the discomfort. Even now, I feel inclined to skip it. I like myself better when I don’t know what I look like. I might substitute daily gratitude and journaling. I’d like to get back to a consistent routine there. I also plan on blogging daily. We’ll call that, 5B.

30 Soft

I’m starting smaller than the original plan calls for. I’m going after thirty soft rather than seventy-five hard. The “soft” refers to the fact that I won’t be starting again if I stumble. That’s a little too all-or-nothing for my eating disorder recovery calm. An ed is very much about turning a small behavioural slip into a failure. I’m trying to avoid returning to that way of thinking while still pursuing growth.

Who knew so much of adulthood would involve balancing?

The plan, written down because plans that exist only in your head are called wishes, seems good: improved meals and nutrition – more protein, participating in daily exercise beyond the dog walks, continuing to hydrate well, reading at least ten pages of a new, non-fiction book every day, and taking a selfie which is going to look a lot like posting something – not a self-protrait – to my blog.

At the end of the thirty, we’ll see how I feel about carrying on. I have high hopes that following the 30-soft will light a fire under my apathy. That it’s kicking into gear on the first of the month feels like the kind of symmetry that ends well. Fingers crossed.

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