Recovery and growth, things that interest me, occasional deep-thoughts, and random poetry.
I struggle with attachments. I struggle with letting go of things. I suspect I am not unique. I’ve been reading bits and pieces of Buddhist writings. The idea of attachment is regularly referenced. The goal is to accept the concept of non-attachment. I’m nowhere close to doing that...
...I get overwhelmed by sensory input at times. I don’t like crowds, or even just a large number of friends together. I don’t like loud noises for sustained periods. I don’t like a lot of physical touch; hugs and arms slung around my shoulders are mostly a no-go. I don’t like excessive visual inputs – things like strobe lights start to bother me very quickly. And there are a lot of things I don’t like about clothing. I’d be probably go naked more often if I didn’t have that whole body-hatred thing going on...
Wouldn’t it be nice if “ought to” was easy? Wouldn’t it be cool if we defaulted to health and life-enhancing behaviours? There are people out there who do; I read about them and see their inspirational memes all the time. They are my goal; I would love it my default setting was life-affirming. Unfortunately, when things get tough for me, I tend to do two things: withdraw from the world, and engage in harmful behaviours. This is not a winning philosophy...
I don’t know what people are talking about when they say they need to “get in touch with themselves”. Who is the “self” they’re seeking to contact? They must be far more cohesive than I; I have a multitude of selves and all of them want to drive the bus...
I’m a sucker for a book with a happy ending. I prefer it when things work out the way they’re supposed to, and by supposed to I mean the main character gets what they want and all problems and challenges are resolved. You just know life goes on for the characters in a happy and uncomplicated way after the last page is turned. I know that it’s fantasy; I don’t care. I like the way I feel when everything turns out all right...
Life is a series of lessons. What’s important is what we learn. Good things teach us but so do the bad times. Often, however, we learn the wrong lessons...
It seemed like a good idea at the time. I’ve been looking at buying a car. It started with needing a new battery but I got sucked into test driving some newer, smaller, more fuel-efficient vehicles and the next thing you know I started thinking about how I needed a new car, how I deserved a new car, and how I could easily afford the payments. None of those things are true...
