“i want to rip the sun from the sky. i want to silence the songbirds. i want to destroy the bits and pieces of happiness that are floating around outside. i want it dark and cold and rainy, so that everyone can share in the mood i woke up with today.” Continue reading rip the sun from the sky
“i have been hanging out at a seventy percent mood for some time now and i’m pretty okay with that. i don’t wake up and embrace life, but i also don’t wake up and curse it. i fantasize about driving my car into k-rails less often. i’m starting to run out of shower gel again.” Continue reading i’m having a temporary glitch
“it feels like i have been searching for peace and contentment forever. i don’t look for happiness – if it comes, it comes – but simply ease. ease from the depression and anxiety that have plagued me for most of my life.” Continue reading is it truthful, kind, or necessary for healing
“there’s a poster taped to the mirror on my bedroom dresser that lists ten steps to take if your depression is acting up; things you can do to help fight the beast. number one is “are you hydrated?”… is water really such a curative? why were our ancestors so much better at getting enough? part of it is marketing, i’m sure. Continue reading hydration is an annoyingly universal fix
the behavioural impulses associated with my mental illnesses are at best, ones i’ll ultimately regret, and at worst, ones that are harmful. i fight against the negative urges, hate myself for having them, and give in more than i’d like but i don’t think about them at a level above stubborn resistance very often. why is it so hard to separate ourselves from behaviours that … Continue reading the problem with easy
“persist and resist…persist in our efforts to live well and resist those things that would drag us down. pretty much the perfect slogan for those of us slogging our way through recovery, be it from substances, behaviours, mental illnesses, or a combination thereof.” Continue reading persist and resist
“it’s challenging when it feels like your brain is out of your control; when it persists in thinking thoughts you’d rather it didn’t…i have spent a significant quantity of time ranting and raving over my inability to shut down my brain and to deny these thoughts life. no matter the internal or external volume, repeatedly berating myself didn’t work. something new was needed…” Continue reading let the thoughts go
recovery is very much non-linear, and it persists in being so despite my wishing that it was otherwise. you work, you stumble, you relapse, you sink. you drop low, back down into the pit. what makes it recovery rather than just a fall is what happens next. Continue reading the non-linear nature of recovery
“what progress, you ask, have i made? i have begun to be a friend to myself.” Continue reading be a friend to yourself
don’t let your actions cause harm. it’s elegantly practical. i wonder why it’s such a struggle to apply this rule to ourselves? Continue reading harm none, do what you will
