living in depression flats

"For me, the fall into depression is not a smooth ride down a slide. Instead, it’s like tumbling down a long staircase with the concomitant bumps and bruises one would expect from such a fall, with brief stops at landings prior to reaching the bottom – except, of course, you never reach the bottom. The pit is infinitely deep, and the stairs go on forever..."

but I did everything right…

"I woke up for the third time after a night of fractured and difficult sleep and decided it was time to get up. Five minutes past six but my sleep had been miserable since two in the morning, partly because of the internal kerfuffle created by daylight savings time and partly because I forgot to wear my blue-filter glasses while playing on my phone last night..."

a hole in my chin and an existential crisis

"trigger warning – self harm I’m standing at a fork in the road and I’m paralyzed. It’s a pretty big fork, with plenty of places for me to play. I don’t play well with others a lot of the time so I’m here alone, which is unfortunate since the games I play when I’m by myself and feeling distressed generally involve some form of self-harm. This explains the half inch hole that I’ve dug in my chin that’s now infected..."