"i used to be a can-do multi-tasker. i could juggle jobs like nobody’s business. i was the girl you gave extra work to if you needed it done, especially if the timeline was sooner rather than later."
Tag: depression
permanently disabled
"i haven’t been sleeping well of late. it’s an occupational hazard when you have depression; insomnia likes to pop in for a visit from time to time. i head to bed early enough but stay awake ‘til after midnight and sleep fitfully, waking for the final time between four and five in the morning. those are ugly hours; almost nothing good happens then."
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currently hating food
"i am having a problem with food and eating of late, in that i hate them both. this is a significant challenge when you consider that eating is one of the basic requirements for living."
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i used to have poetry
"i used to have poetry, before my mind broke, shattering into some hundred-million glittering shards, and when it fractured, i think the words went with it.
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attempting suicide fundamentally changes you
"i’ve tried to kill myself three times, most recently in november of 2014. it is a bizarre thing to able to write that about yourself. it’s a strange thing to know about yourself, to know that you are capable of taking such drastic action. there was a point in my life, long past now..."
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explaining mountains to a fish
"sometimes having a mental illness feels like you’re surrounded by a wall. the wall serves several purposes: it keeps people out and away and keeps me safe, but it also keeps me trapped, tethered to the depression and anxiety that can make daily living so hard."
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reading for the sheer pleasure of it
"i read stephen king’s “the stand” last weekend and it was fantastic. i enjoyed reading it immensely. i’m sure there are critics who disliked the book, and people who won’t hesitate to point out the flaws, and i will admit that at times his level of description is over the top, but at the end of the day the book did what a novel is supposed to do. it entertained me. it pulled me into the story and let me live in a different world for a while."
