Mental Health

I Don’t Have ADHD, but I Am Suggestible.

I’m not a hypochondriac. Much. I can exaggerate a pulled muscle with the best of them, but I draw the line at hitting up doctors with my exaggerated sense of injury. This makes me a good consumer of medical resources.

That being said, I also don’t pursue medical help when I should.

Also a problem. You’d think I’d have learned after one round of IV antibiotics, but no.

A basic definition of hypochondria is excessive concern with one’s health accompanied by exaggerated or imaginary ailments. It’s not, however, an official label. Officially, one with these kinds of problems would be diagnosed with Illness Anxiety Disorder.

This is not to say that everyone who experiences hypochondria has a disorder. It’s all about degree.

If the disorder is severe enough, people can experience physical symptoms. At this stage, doctors might change the disorder to something like Somatic Symptom Disorder, where a patient is convinced they have a disorder and manifest the symptoms even though test results remain determinedly negative.

Patients with these kinds of struggles tend to be regular consumers of medical services. They tie up medical time and space in pursuit of answers medicine won’t be able to give them.

Illness Anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms aren’t people “faking it.” People in serious psychological distress are seeking expression via physical symptoms and sensations. They’re looking for help in the only way they can. That being said, sufferers exacerbate their problems by searching out diseases and symptoms online, falling victim to the ever-tempting confirmation bias.

Then again, lots of people catch diseases from Dr. Google.

I think perhaps hypochondria doesn’t work for me because I had a very stiff upper lip mother. I’ve also had a lot of illnesses. I don’t want to go back to the hospital. Give me a shot at new neuroticisms, however, and I’m in. I’m suggestible when it comes to a mental health diagnosis. I rarely meet one I’m not convinced I have, if only as a sub-axis diagnosis.

It’s not that I want more neuroses. It’s that the ones I have are stubbornly chronic. And perhaps if the old diagnosis is wrong – depression, for instance – and the new diagnosis is right – ADHD, for instance – then I can be better. All I need is different meds.

Because in my brain, different is automatically better. Unfortunately, reality doesn’t support that assumption. Different isn’t better, it’s just different.

The main problem associated with my attempts to diagnose myself with autism or ADHD is that I don’t fit the criteria. Granted, I dislike sustained eye contact and hugs, but I also react poorly to aggression (eye contact can be aggressive), and have a history of sexual abuse which often lends itself to a dislike of casual touching. [i]

I bet Spock was a lousy hypochondriac.

A logical brain is often a downer. We wreck everything. At least I’ve learned to bite my tongue. People don’t like you pointing out the problems with what they’re saying or doing, from the perspective of logic.

Which I find shocking. Because I adore being corrected and told.

This doesn’t have much to do with the above thoughts. I just like it.

[i] There’s also a lot more to both autism and ADHD than “no eye contact, no hugs.”

19 thoughts on “I Don’t Have ADHD, but I Am Suggestible.”

      1. My father in law never had eye contact. We were in intial stages of denial saying my son inherited his Grandfather. Having no eye contact means you have a tough time processing something visually. So it is just one small aspect of autism. I have now more than 25 years experience in autism and have so many children and adults on the spectrum. Autism comes as a big package of disorders!!!

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        1. I imagine you are an expert on all aspects of autism. I used to worry about the eye contact preference I have, but I decided it’s mostly because I’m sensitive and some people’s eyes (or what’s behind them) make me uncomfortable.

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  2. I think that Generation X, particularly female GenXers, were screwed over. I am pretty sure that I have ADHD and that I am on the Autism Spectrum. I also have health anxiety and am an HSP (highly sensitive person). What I wish for is that all of these tests were affordable and available without a requirement for therapy. Because these things are not available to everyone.

    It would provide answers to SO many questions. It would help others understand me. It could help me in determining what type of therapy I would benefit from…etc etc etc..

    I’m sorry for vomiting all over your comments. I’m here to say that you’re not alone. I see and hear you.

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    1. I agree with you that we had a bit of a hard run. I also agree that free testing and help afterwards would be lovely.

      Not at all – I like it when people comment. And thank you 😊

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  3. I cannot relate to hypochondriacs—I ignore and deny any symptoms of ANYTHING on the regular. I simply don’t have time for it. 🤣

    I tick many of the boxes for autism, though I’ve never been diagnosed—and I really don’t care one way or another…it would just be more info to explain me to me. 🤷‍♀️

    I don’t enjoy learning I’m wrong, but I HATE looking stupid far more, so I do want to be corrected and told!

    I love the quote!

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    1. I like to pretend I’m a stiff upper lip but I’m not lol.

      I hear you on the feeling stupid. That experience lives as a burn on the soul for far too long. Who doesn’t love decades old memories of feeling stupid that one time 😂

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  4. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s. After YEARS of being told, I have anxiety and, depression. I also thought I was being dramatic, and it’s not until years of reading every self help book i could find and working with a psychologist with progressively worsening depression I agreed to further consultations – then originally they diagnosed me with Bi Polar, but my other doctors disagreed with having my history and further assessment led to ADHD. I’m on medication now, and I have to say, I’ve never been more content in life. I lool back at my first 30 years and wonder how much different my life would have been had I accepted help earlier. I could have finished Uni, stayed in jobs etc etc

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  5. It’s so interesting with neurodiversity. I have fibromyalgia and basically all my friends are either on the spectrum or have ADHD or some other disability. Recently I learned as well that ADHD is a spectrum too. I had no idea about that! That’s mindblowing. But it’s good to mention as well that autism spectrum is a whole lot more than no hugs or eye contact, because they’re all so different! I also know a few people who got an autism diagnosis as a young child or as a teenager, but that was the wrong diagnosis, and that’s no fun too. Especially since people do not know more about autism than the regular “no eye contact stuff and no hugs” bullshit.

    Hey, I’ve even heard doctors say, if you’ve got autism, you can’t get cancer, so yeah…

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    1. That “autism and cancer” crack made me grrr. It’s funny – we expect doctors to be smarter than they often are.

      I find the correlation between neurodiversity and fibromyalgia interesting. Not fun for us, but interesting.

      I didn’t know ADHD is considered an autism spectrum disorder. Back to the internet.

      Thanks for the interesting comment.

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      1. Yeah I could not believe what I was hearing when the doctor said so.

        Yeah, apparently it’s very common for people with neurodiverse stuff to have pain as well, especially for women.

        Oh, sorry, what I meant was that ADHD can be so different from person to person that it’s a spectrum. It’s not autism spectrum related in that case, even if it’s pretty common for people with ADHD to have autism or autistic traits.

        I hade no idea that was the case, because all people I know of with ADHD act pretty much the same, so I could never think that it could show so differently depending on who you are. The basic ADHD traits are there of course, but I did not know that you could have internal hyperactivity. Aka just because you don’t climb the walls at home, you can still have ADHD.

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        1. Thanks for explaining that, though I did feel the connection made some kind of sense.

          My son has ADHD, but his is very much internal. His ability to hyperfocus amazes me. People – even family – are surprised by the diagnosis, but there’s really no doubt – the medications made things night and day for him. If you don’t have ADHD, they do different things.

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