I used to think I was a new soul. I don’t believe in reincarnation, except when I do, which then is in a vague, don’t think about the details much, kind of way. I decided on “new soul” because I don’t feel like I’ve been here before. Except I have this thing where I hate my neck being touched. I don’t like necklaces, I can’t wear turtlenecks or scarves, and don’t touch me there unexpectedly unless you want a punch aimed at your nose. [i] I used to joke it meant I’d been strangled in a previous life. It’s probably an extreme reaction to vulnerability, not unexpected given my life history. Though the unlikely reincarnation would’ve been nice to prove. Nobel Prize. [ii]
I used to think I was a new soul, and then the last eight or so weeks happened on top of the general misery that has existed ever since my lumpectomy. I must’ve not only been here before but been a horror show. The rule of three or karma, take your pick, but my family is getting slammed.
As opposed to all the other families getting slammed.
Anyhow, my neuralgia has flared up. [iii]
The best way to experience trigeminal neuralgia is to have a friend sharpen a tuning hammer and then drive it into your skull at random but frequent intervals for five to seven days. If you’re lucky it’ll end in about a week: if you aren’t, sucks to be you. Make sure they strike a nerve bundle so the pain runs the entire side of the skull.
The good news is even opioids won’t stop the pain. All hail the Japanese scientists who came up with Gabapentin. In its off-label, non-anticonvulsant life, it helps numb nerve pain. I’d marry it if I could. The difference between a neuralgia ten and the adjusted seven/eight is the ability to carry on. In every manner of speaking.
Despite appearances, however, I’m essentially an optimist.
I may be dealing with tear-inducing pain, but at least I no longer have to come up with a piece exciting and new. I have a legitimate reblog reason beyond basic laziness.
- Do you suffer from chronic pain?
- What kind, if you do, and what does it present like (pattern of frequency and location: I’m both nosy and comparative)?
- Do you take a perverse pride in your ability to endure something that destroys most, or is that just a “me” thing (and arrogant with it)?
[i] Grammarly is going to hate that sentence.
[iii] It can be triggered by things like jaw clenching. The kind of thing you unconsciously do when you’re under stress from things like local disasters, a terminally ill mother, and a decompensating father. I really should wear my retainer more.