Internalized chaos – an off-the-cuff joint.
I feel not quite right. My world has been upended, a hard thing for someone used to and fond of minimal change. Things are starting to level, for myself and the child now in my care, but we had a rough week. Head-bumping. Conflict. Annoyance. I accept the lion’s share of the blame. I cannot allow myself to forget, even for a moment, that this … Continue reading Internalized chaos – an off-the-cuff joint.
Seize the day.
When one is living with an eating disorder, one does not seize the day. One is too busy getting seized by that thing that wants you dead. It’s not unlike what happens when you’re in the grips of a major depressive disorder. Not much seizing happens then, either. Then again, the expression isn’t, “carpe diem when things are just so, and the mood is upon … Continue reading Seize the day.
There once was a funeral home.
I like to listen to my dad’s stories. He’s travelled and held interesting jobs in exotic locations. Then he met my mother and settled as a social studies teacher in the Fraser Valley of British Columbia, working that job until retirement at sixty-three. He trained as a teacher before he left New Zealand as a young man seeking adventure, and added a few other lines … Continue reading There once was a funeral home.
Tidal panic attacks – they ebb and flow – an off-the-cuff joint.
I’ve had four solid panic attacks over the last two weeks. Sometimes, you’ll get a hint of one pending but you can head it off. This was not the case here. They’re all connected to foster parenting, and the fear I’m doing something wrong or have made a mistake. My brain is not a fan of the mistake, and since everything I’m doing right now … Continue reading Tidal panic attacks – they ebb and flow – an off-the-cuff joint.
From Famine to Feast. 