"i think people undervalue kindness. it’s a characteristic i try to hold front and centre, even when i get cut off in traffic by people who are oblivious to the location and function of the turn signal. in part, being kind is a little selfish; i get guilt when i’m unkind and since i hate feeling that way, i take the necessary steps to avoid doing so."
"i haven’t been sleeping well of late. it’s an occupational hazard when you have depression; insomnia likes to pop in for a visit from time to time. i head to bed early enough but stay awake ‘til after midnight and sleep fitfully, waking for the final time between four and five in the morning. those are ugly hours; almost nothing good happens then."
" i feel calm this morning, at least i did when i woke up, which is a nice change. the raging noise and pressure that is neither noise nor pressure that fills my brain most of the time had eased. my anxiety was asleep. it would be tempting to decide that the things i did yesterday led to this desired state but to choose to pursue those behaviours and actions wholeheartedly would be a bad call."
"today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I decided to re-post a blog i did that discusses my own attempts and some of the consequences that resulted. we can never know anyone else, not really, not what they're thinking or feeling or planning. the best we can do is be there for others. be open, be accessible, be non-judgmental, be kind."
"anxiety shrinks my world. it pulls in tight and collapses on itself until there is no space or freedom for me anywhere. everything becomes small, and ritual becomes everything."
"my thoughts are quicksilver. they race around my brain in a frenzy of disparate ideas and impulses that fatigue me."
"every meal’s a challenge when you’re recovering from an eating disorder, but meals out come with their own unique problems. it would be nice if i could just abandon my drug of choice and give up on food entirely, but eating is a requirement for life, or so they tell me."