Introduction

I’ve been struggling with doing this last bit, and that struggle extends into writing. Part of the blame lies with mood, and part of it is a result of pain. Depression leaves me apathetic and unmotivated, and the pain associated with carpal tunnel syndrome in my right hand, along with the carpal metacarpal arthritis in both hands, makes working with my hands difficult. The discomfort and life limitations have been unpleasant enough that I finally gave in and went to see my doctor.

I swear to the gods, if I drop one more thing, they’ll hear the scream in Madagascar. I care forr that carpal tunnel symptom not at all.

My problems aren’t “only” hand pain: I’ve lost a certain degree of functionality, in my right hand especially, and on some days, the CTS pain grinds itself right up into my shoulder. On the bright side, this, along with pins and needles, was enough to get me quick referrals to both a surgeon and rheumatologist.

We all know hands are useful things – our opposable thumb is part of the reason why we’re in charge of this world – but like most things human, I took my hands a bit for granted, save for the occasional moisturizer love bombing. This sudden drop in usage has brought home just how valuable functional hands are to a happy life.

My hand and arm also get cold on the inside now, which is a very strange sensation. But I digress.

All’s not lost: I’m pretty good at using my left hand when I remember to do so. That stabbing sensation works a treat as a memory aid. I’ve been practicing doing things lefthanded because that kind of mental stretching is good for the brain. Being able to switch sides also helps one avoid muscle strain when raking – but I’m not good yet at measuring how much force I’m applying. Did you realize that skill wasn’t innate?

My creative spark has taken a bit of a vacation in the face of these and other challenges. My creative spark has always had poor timing. What she doesn’t know is that she can be replaced. Creative spark is all very well, but one can also avail oneself of prompts. They’re not tied to inspiration or mood.

One does, however, have to sit down at the desk.

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I suppose there’s a smidge of inspiration in my decision to follow A Grace Full Life’s example, and commit to answering “Vogue’s 73 Questions.” Inspiration, or at least, a willingness to follow a good suggestion.

I quite like Vogue magazine. In addition to being the fashion Bible, it has demonstrated some skookum bits of investigative writing over the years, though Teen Vogue perhaps does a bit better there. The September issue of Vogue remains a thing of fashion and beauty. ¹

What’s left then is a decision about formatting. Should I write the list down in a Q&A style? Perhaps I could post the answers in a table? Maybe I could write out the answers in verse? Scratch that last one – seventy-three stanzas feels like an overwhelming demand, especially if one plans on rhyming. Question and Answer in a list format, it is.

Note: seventy questions and answers turned out to be a lot, so I decided to not bother with a final exam.

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Questions 1 to 10

• 1. What is your favourite time of day?
  • Probably morning.
• 2. What are your biggest weaknesses?
  • I’m impatient, quick to anger, and too often defensive.
• 3. How do you relax?
  • Mostly reading, sometimes going for a walk, especially if it’s raining a bit.
• 4. What’s most important to you?
  • It changes. My son above all, but after that, there’s much overlap.
• 5. One thing that’s in your bag at all times?
  • Pain medication. Sugars. Wallet. That’s three things.
• 6. What inspires you?
  • People who live ethical lives.
• 7. What colour was your prom dress?
  • Pink tea length with a pink lace overlay.

• 8. What are three words that describe you?
  • Smart, impatient, and compassionate.
• 9. What do you first notice when you meet someone?
  • I’m going to say vibe. I react more to body language than actual language. When it’s off, I can react strongly.
• 10. What are your friends like?
  • What a horrid question. That’s like asking someone to sing the colour purple. They’re like people I like to spend time with. We’ve similar points of view regarding the big stuff. In this age of Trumpism, friends that leaned that way have been left behind. It’s not all small stuff.

Questions 11 to 20

• 11. What is a new song you love right now?
  • The List, by oktobernatt.
• 12. What is your favourite season?
  • It used to be summer, but now it’s fall. The summers here in British Columbia have become hotter, dryer, and extremely fire-ridden. They take a toll.
• 13. What are you scared of?
  • Being afraid. Fear can only make you afraid, it can’t hurt you in any way, and yet, I often give way.
• 14. How many kids do you want?
  • I never gave this question much thought growing up.
• 15. What is your favourite flower?
  • This year, it’s a toss-up between dahlias and cosmos. Both are doing well in my garden.

• 16. Tea or coffee?
  • Yes, and I take both black. Coffee for the morning, however.
• 17. If you could play any instrument, which would you play?
  • I can play quite a few: flute and piccolo, piano, and trombone. I think I’d like to take drumming lessons, or maybe learn to play the harp. I’d try violin, but the learning stage sounds a lot like killing cats. Banjo, maybe.
• 18. Favourite holiday?
  • I don’t love holidays, but I do like fall and winter decor better than spring and summer. Perhaps Thanksgiving, which for Canadians, falls in October.
• 19. What places do you want to visit?
  • I would like to win the lottery, so I can buy a truly excellent RV and travel Canada from coast to coast to coast with my dog.
• 20. Must-have beauty product?
  • The older you get, the more your eyebrows go away. The hairs sometimes sprout from different places, like the nose or chin, but they leave the eye quite bare. I like to make sure I have pencils and brow mascaras on hand. I keep a permanent set in the car, just in case. Vanity, thy name is duplication. Vanity, thy name is eyebrows.

Questions 21 to 30

• 21. Favourite think about yourself?
  • I like being smart and well-educated. UBC was a brilliant experience. Once I win the lottery and travel Canada, I’ll go back to school forever.
• 22. What was the name of your first pet?
  • Snuff was a Pomeranian-Sheltie cross that my mom adopted when she was pregnant with me. She was a lovely dog.
• 23. Favourite apps on your phone?
  • It changes, but currently, I’m opening Threads, Meowdoku – awesome game, and TikTok the most. Also Libby, the library app.
• 24. Where do you see yourself in ten years?
  • Hopefully, I’ll be sixty-seven. Beats the alternative.
• 25. Next tattoo you want to get?
  • I have eight at the moment. I would like to add a tattoo of forget-me-nots in honour of my mom – they were her favourites.

• 26. Which three famous people would you invite for tea?
  • I’d invite Angelina Jolie, because we share a birthday, and I find much about her to admire. I’d invite Margaret Atwood because she’d be a fascinating person to talk to. I’d invite my friend Allyson, because she can keep conversation flowing like no one’s business, and sometimes, I struggle. I’d arrange for us to do a Hot Ones flight. I’ve always wanted to, though I’d choose cauliflower over wings.
• 27. Who is your favourite designer?
  • I’m off designers these days. Too many seem ethically challenged and far too greedy. If money wasn’t an issue, I might buy something from Stella McCartney. I’d probably also buy some boots.
• 28. Favourite scent?
  • Many. Magnolia from the tree in the backyard. Vanilla. Coconut, because it smells like summer. The ocean. The forest. Freshly bleached linens. Not petrichor – I hate that.
• 29. Who would you ask the 73 questions of?
  • I could print them on a card using Canva, and then hand them out to random people like some drive by Cards Against Humanity thing. I could be annoying like that. After all, who doesn’t love a windshield wiper flyer?
• 30. What’s your favourite thing to eat?
  • Beef stroganoff.

Questions 31 to 41

• 31. What was your favourite movie as a child?
  • I don’t really have favourites. I do like movies, though there’s debate over what motivates me, films or popcorn.
• 32. What movie make you cry when you watch it?
  • “Steel Magnolias.” Put that on if you need the catharsis of a really harsh and ugly cry.
• 33. Favourite thing to wear:
  • A long-sleeved, navy blue, cotton jersey. Love it. Also, a robe of some type on top when I’m at home. Maybe I’m turning into Mrs. Roper?

• 34. One movie you can watch over and over?
  • I repeat lots of movies. I like the background noise, and some are just fun. I watch “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” if I want to laugh out loud. “Spectral” is one of my a sci-fi/action go-to movies.
• 35. What is the coolest thing in the world?
  • Absolute zero (-273.5C).
• 36. What are your three favourite albums?
  • I never was an album girl. I like this single or that one, but I rarely sit through albums in their entirety. My first album was “ABBA Greatest Hits Volume II,” and I tried my best to wear a deeper groove into “Does Your Mother Know.” I even had a dance.
• 37. Sweet or savoury?
  • It depends.
• 38. Cats or dogs:
  • I’ve had both. I love both. Cats are more independent.
• 39. Favourite actress:
  • Kate Winslett.
• 40. Favourite place you ever visited?
  • Austria.

• 41. What tv show are you currently watching?
  • I’m rewatching a cancelled show from a few years back, Containment.

Questions 42 to 50

• 42. Favourite male singer?
  • My son, Brccke1. Streetlights is a favourite of mine.
• 43. Favourite female singer?
  • I don’t tend to have favourites of things.
• 44. Who do you turn to when you get sad?
  • I isolate, which is a bad habit. Did you know that people who are choking have a tendency to isolate if they’re in public? Something to watch for.
• 45. Do you like cooking or baking?
  • Both, sometimes. My decades of living with an eating disorder have left me somewhat ambivalent about food, and even though I’m living in recovery, I still have food issues. I do like watching “The Great British Baking Show.” They’re all so polite.
• 46. Favourite snack food.
  • Popcorn, with lots of butter and salt.

• 47. Secret talent?
  • Yeah, don’t have one of those. I feel like I should cultivate one to bring out at parties, should I ever go to another one.
• 48. What are you most excited for these days?
  • A change of season. It’s been a long, hot, dry summer, and I sometimes think that I’m part mermaid. I start to do poorly when we’ve been without significant rain for a stretch, and the stretch is currrently stretched thin.
• 49. What does your name mean?
  • She who is like the Lord. Hopefully, they didn’t mean Farquad.
• 50. Hobbies that you will never give up?
  • Reading; music – singing, playing, listening; spending time in nature; reorganizing. Can we consider “puttering” a hobby, because that would be my number one.

Questions 51 to 60

• 51. What makes you mad?
  • It’s a big list. People who are unethical. People who abuse those weaker, especially children or animals. Corrupt cops. Selfish, greedy people. People with small, closed minds. Pretentious people, entitled people. Polluters. Racists. Bigots. Misogyny. Feeble and greedy politicians. I better take a break, I can feel my ire rising.
• 52. What song do you like to listen to for happiness?
  • If I want to be happy when I’m listening to music, there’s probably going to be dancing involved. I was kicking it to The Rockafella Skank just the other night. Dancing in the Moonlight is another dance favourite.
• 53. What’s your favourite word in English?
  • “Cleave” is a good one since it contains multitudes. It means, “to separate,” but it also means, “to join together.” I love a good contronym. If by favourite, however, you mean frequency of usage, than it’s going to be curse words. I swear like a one-eyed carpenter.

• 54. Something people don’t know about you?
  • I was part of a national, gold-medal winning high school orchestra. I took a class, and I have a certificate that proves I’m a qualified bartender (see also: personal trainer). I once won a watermelon eating contest.
• 55. What’s an old song you’ve currently got on repeat?
  • Tracy Chapman’s Talking About A Revloution.
• 56. Window or Aisle seat?
  • I just need leg room. Plus, I fidget. It’s a pain thing.
• 57. Favourite piece of clothing?
  • My current, go-to pants are a well-used pair of camo track pants that should probably be retired from public life. I tell myself the paint stains are artistic. I tell myself the saggy, non-fit is a trend. I lie to myself, sometimes.
• 58. Something from your childhood you still have?
  • Books. Dolls. Siblings.
• 59. Favourite part of the day?
  • After dinner, when the demands of the day are done, and I can wind down, and settle in.
• 60. Do you believe in fate?
  • No. I believe in Sarah Connor – there’s no fate but what we make.

Questions 61 to 70, and end scene

• 61. What is something you can’t do?
  • I don’t have a lot of upper body strength, so I’m not great at pull-ups. That probably doesn’t bode well for the zombie apocalypse. I should parkour more.
• 62. What do you usually eat for breakfast?
  • Mostly food, though I’ve been known to have an adult beverage while on vacation. Of late, it’s been over-easy eggs on sourdough toast. Yum.
• 63. What’s your favourite colour?
  • I used to say I didn’t have one, but if you check my closet, you will see that the answer is blue? Who knew?
• 64. What makes you happy?
  • Reading; not feeling anxioux; not feeling worried; laughing out loud; walks with the dog -sometimes; the ocean; good conversations; family game night.
• 65. What kind of advice do you give to people?
  • I don’t like it when people ask advice. I try to be general with advice, so that the interlocuter doesn’t feel targetted, which they often seem to, even though they asked. That being said:
    • Wear sunscreen. Get cancer screening tests done. Get your eyes checked regularly as you age. Eat enough fibre. Move your body. Take care of your teeth.
• 66. What is your favourite ice cream flavour?
  • Royal Black Cherry, or Cherry Custard.

• 67. Do you prefer milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
  • When my eating disorder was active, I would binge on all kinds of chocolates because it was a food I wasn’t allowed in the regular course of events. I assumed I loved it. I have been eating many of the foods that were “bad” now that I’m in recovery, and I’ve tried a lot of different chocolates and bars in the past six years. What I’ve discovered is that I don’t like chocolate all that much. I mostly find it a bit cloying. When I do indulge, however, I prefer milk chocolate, and plain with it. Maybe a Cadbury Fruit and Nut.
• 68. What is your favourite fruit?
  • Fruit favourites vary with the seasons. Right now, I’m all about raspberries and blueberries. Come November, I’ll be all about pomegranates.
• 69. Vintage or new?
  • Shoes and undergarments are new, I thrift almost everything else.
• 70. Who is your favourite super hero?
  • Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.

And my arm is now on fire, so that’s all she wrote.

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1. I ended up answering seventy questions. A few were similar, so I merged them. ↩︎