Why isn’t what I do “living a life”? Because I don’t consider it to be. I’m always vaguely apologetic when people ask “what do you do?” I shuffle and deflect and respond that I don’t do much, I kind of write, sort of, it’s nothing really. I dismiss how I spend my days and give the impression that writing isn’t really that important to me...
The universe gives you what you need, some of the time. I was having a very anxious day yesterday and decided to log onto WordPress to catch up on people’s posts. Waiting for me was a message, and what a lovely one it was. I would like to thank Jill for the nomination for the Sunshine Blogging Award. It’s such a pleasure, knowing that people read the things I write, and enjoy them, and maybe get something from them. I love the feeling of connection blogging gives me, the feeling that I’m a member of a community.
I have some resentments. Some are old ones I take out and air periodically and some are new, a result of day to day living. I don’t like having them. Resenting things makes me feel small and petty and with the old ones, vindictive; when I revisit them, I often wish ill upon the targets of my ire. I don’t like having bad feelings. Their emergence, however, is an inevitable consequence of life. How we deal with them is where the work needs to happen...
"I want to take a moment to thank everyone who took the time to read one of the posts I put out there into the online universe, or who followed me. I am beyond grateful. When I started putting my writings online, I had no expectations. No actual, real-world expectations, that is. In the secret part of my heart that likes to fantasize, I imagined an explosive, unprecedented success, perhaps even a Pulitzer in recognition of the stellar qualities found in my internal musings. I spent a lot of time in that fantasy; I pull out of the real world with alarming frequency. It’s quite a negative – it keeps me from reality and stops me from living. I get trapped in imaginary realms that, at times, seem more real than the world at hand."
a child looks on
as voices rant and rail.
a single tear falls
I'm trying out the new WordPress editor and we'll have to see how it goes. It's a change, and I don't like change.
I'm not alone in this; I think most of us prefer the status quo, however, often times the things we are seeking to preserve are better off binned."
"on this dark and quiet night,
my only companion is the flicker of the dashboard lights.
my thoughts are at rest,
i am steeped in rote as i retrace
the well-known path toward home..."