I’ve fifty-six years under my belt, and so far, I’ve made quite a few mistakes. I’ve also managed to learn a thing or two. Sometimes, I try to pass life lessons to my kids, but they’re in their twenties, and, as is customary at that age, they know everything, so I have to dispense the pearls elsewhere.

It’s not unexpected – I knew everything myself at that age. It’s only as time marched on that I came to realize how shockingly little I knew back in the day. Twenty years hence, I’ll probably be aghast at how little I know now.

There are a few, fairly solid truths I’ve picked up along the way, though some of my opinions have changed or evolved as I’ve aged. This is a good thing. Never aspire to rigidity.

I’m also not including “wear sunscreen” in my advice. You know you should wear it. Just do it!

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10 Things I Know

• Not engaging in preventative maintenance is false economy. Whether it’s oil changes for your car or an annual cleaning at the dentist, maintenance always costs less than repair. Sure, it’s annoying to spend the money. Think about how much more annoyed you’ll be with a bill four times the size.
• It’s okay to say, “I’m sorry.” It’s okay to admit you made a mistake. You won’t melt, nor will you burst into flames. Do it regularly, until it stops hurting. Don’t hide behind ego – we all screw up. Making mistakes says nothing about you as a person. It’s especially important to apologize to family. Normalize saying sorry to your kids. Normalize not caring about saving face.
• “For Sale” is not the same as “On Sale.” If you didn’t go there to get it, don’t buy it. Most of us don’t need much – we have it all already. Money in the bank is almost always better than an impulse buy. If you’re truly desperate to toss away forty bucks, send it to your local food bank. Who among us really needs another t-shirt?
• Put your phone away. Put your phone away when you’re with your children or grandchildren. Put your phone away when you’re walking your dog. Put it away if you’re having a meal with someone. Normalize being without a phone in your hand for hours at a time. Seriously, people, cut the smartphone cord. It’s an issue. It’s also rude.
• You feel better if you get some natural light every day. Get outside, go for a walk. Take your dog, your kids, your partner, or go alone. Just go. Fun fact: almost no one melts in the rain.
• You feel better when you move. We’re not supposed to spend most of our lives on our posteriors. Unfortunately, people are Newton’s first law – a body in motion tends to stay in motion, but a body at rest tends to stay at rest. Get the body in motion more often. It really is a case of “use it or lose it.” ‘Tis better to wear out than rust out. Go for a walk outside – that’s a twofer.
• Engage socially. We’re not at our best when we spend too much time alone. COVID lockdowns taught us that. Online time isn’t as effective as in-person connections. We need to spend time with people if we want our brains to be happy brains. The amount of socializing required varies from person to person – I can get by with minimal contact, but my dad needs personal interaction like he needs oxygen – but we all need some to keep things rolling along smoothly.
• Find something to do that you value. Find something meaningful to pursue. For some people, meaning comes from their work. Some people find it in religion. For others, it’s found in art. The possibilities are near-infinite – I value learning and education, and I’m happiest when I’m pursuing these things in some way. Education brings meaning to my life. Happiness is free university courses online.
• Take care of your things. Throwing things away isn’t benign. Where is “away,” exactly? Capitalism needs us to keep upgrading the perfectly fine things we already own so businesses can make ever-increasing profits, but capitalism is going to have to adjust before it all burns to the ground. Even fast fashion lasts if you have a care.
• Learn to say “no,” and mean it. Develop good boundaries and enforce them. Say “no,” when you want to say it, and don’t cave to pressure. People treat you how you teach them to treat you. Teach them that your boundaries are firm, not negotiable. No means no.

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