It has been a tense week. I’ve appreciated the kind words and the reaching out very much. Worry is a hard thing to carry alone.
One of the annoying things about cancer is its permanence. Once you’ve had it, the possibility of getting it again is ever in your mind. It takes up mental space. So many things we’d rather not, do. Sometimes, it feels like my mental cul-de-sac is nothing but horrible neighbours.
I need a better HOA.
I don’t have breast cancer. I have pain and swelling, but not cancer. I’ve had a mammogram and an ultrasound, so we’re sure. What I have is mastitis, an inflammation of the breast tissue that is often accompanied by infection. It’s why we went with the ultrasound – I’m not the only person who felt a lump.
This is why checking is important. This is why screening is important. You never know what you’ll find. Or rule out.
It’s odd; my brain didn’t consider the possibility of infection at all. Of course, I’m pretty wedded to the idea of negative outcomes these days. It’s been a rough few years. I’m getting used to the hits.
https://www.healthline.com/health/when-to-worry-about-breast-pain-after-menopause#takeaway
I’ve had mastitis before, though it was years ago. Most people who breastfeed experience the joy. And by joy, I mean absolute misery. Luckily, it’s early days on the infection scale. My left breast aches, burns, and itches, but it’s not nearly as bad as it can get. Some people even get open sores across the surface of the breast. Not a good time.
Back in the day, I solved things with hot compresses and more regular feedings. Increasing the frequency of breastfeeding helps move things through the duct system, getting rid of clogs and blockages. That’s not an option this time – the baby turns twenty-four in December – so we’re going with hot compresses and antibiotics instead (my hot compresses back in the day were cotton, not cabbage, much to the folklorists in my circle’s regret. This time I’m using my microwavable beanbag).
I’d never considered infection as the problem. Mastitis wasn’t even on my radar. I’d assumed mastitis was always and only breastfeeding-related. Look at me learning something new. I’d have preferred an abstract lesson, but no one asks.
Pain control, antibiotics, and some stress meditation to calm me down are now the order of the day. This whole thing has me a little spun up. And perhaps a new purse. Don’t we all deserve a reward when we get stressed? And there’s a limit to how much chocolate one can eat. And Black Friday beckons.

Wow! Learning something new !
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They should give us an owner-operator manual for our bodies so we know this stuff.
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Yes true! I hope you recover fast!
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Like you, I thought it was only breast feeding related. So I have learnt something new today.
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I do enjoy that part of life, the learning of new things. The other day I learned a group of otters is called a romp, which I thought adorable.
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I’m so relieved! I got mastitis when I was breastfeeding, and didn’t realize you could get it outside of breastfeeding…that’s wild! Regardless, I am SO glad you caught it early, did all the right things, and had a non-cancer outcome—good job plowing through all the hard shit…you’re my hero!
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Thank you. That’s super kind. We all learned something new about mastitis lol. I’m so itchy today, but the relief of a benign diagnosis has been a treat. My brain was definitely primed for bad news. I think maybe next year I’ll work on my optimism.
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Ooh, I wonder if optimism is a learned skill.
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I read a book (of course, I did) called The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. It posited that happiness was a practice. Perhaps optimism can be too.
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It’s a good theory. If you do it, report back.
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I’m really glad it’s not cancer but sorry you’ve had such a scare. It sounds like a super stressful and worrying time. Well done for getting through it. I think you definitely deserve some kind of treat! I hope the antibiotics kick in and it clears up quickly. Sending love.
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Thank you. My breast feels even worse today, but I feel so much better. It’s such a relief. I timed it well – Black Friday’s a good day to treat oneself.
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OMG, I am so relieved for you! I hope you feel some relief soon, my friend. 😘
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Thank you. I actually slept in until 7:25 a.m. this morning. I’d been waking up at five all week. It’s been a weight. Now to deal with the itching.
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Oh, friend, I’m so glad you got some sleep.
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Me too. You sure miss sleep when it’s gone.
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YES.
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It looks like I missed the scare. Glad all turned out ok-ish. Thank you for educating all of us, it seems, that mastitis is not only linked to breast feeding. Did they tell you what might have caused it?
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No, just that it can be related to infection. I have this thought that I should do more inverted yoga poses for a while to encourage drainage.
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No, they didn’t, and I don’t have a primary care doctor, so I can’t pursue causes beyond the school of Google. I did have a lumpectomy on that breast, I wonder if that contributes?
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Glad it’s not the Big C Michelle!
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Thank you. Me too.
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How are you feeling emotionally about this today?
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Thank you for asking. I’m finished with the antibiotics and things are mostly better. But it was an emotional hit, and they take me some time to crawl back from these days. Luckily I’m meeting with my counsellor today: that always helps me with processing. My relationship with my breast got complicated once I was initially diagnosed.
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Sounds like you’re exhausted, drained. Maybe relieved to improve. Since the diagnosis, maybe feeling conflicted about the relationship with the affected breast. Hope you met needs to be seen and heard and supported by your counsellor 💜
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Thank you. This is very much it; it’s nice to be understood. There’s a part of me that regrets not getting a bilateral mastectomy instead of the lumpectomy.
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It sounds confusing to have those conflicting positions. We would guess you want stability and health. We hope you get these needs met
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