off the cuff

I’m not hierarchical – an off-the-cuff joint.

Daily writing prompt
What profession do you admire most and why?
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I don’t do all that well in groups, especially in groups I arrive at after-the-fact. This is as true of friendship as it is of the workspace. You can break into established groups, but because you’re late to the party, you have to play by their rules for a while even if you disagree with them.

I’m not wired that way.

People used to ask me why I was quiet, and I’d tell them I was shy. That’s not exactly true but a soundbite is often easier. I’m quiet because I’m self-conscious in groups (especially new ones) over this perceived flaw and that one, but what others label “shy” (or snooty) is more along the lines of quiet watchfulness. I like to get the lay of the land and figure out who the players are and where they sit, socio-politically.

Decide how “me” I want to be.

I didn’t realize that I wasn’t shy until quite recently. I also get anxious (of the anxiety disorder type) when approaching groups. Still not shyness.

Labelling things correctly is important, don’t you agree?

These days, I play nice at gatherings or I don’t go. Argument rarely changes opinion, dislike and contempt almost never, and I’m tired of being the person who rubs others the wrong way, even if I’m doing it for the right reasons (which sounds arrogant, but I swear I’m usually on the side of the good guys).

I need more compatible circles. I refuse to learn how to let racism and bigotry go. Contrary to one suggestion, it will not be like water off a duck’s back.

Work circles are different animals. In the work world, I admire expertise and time served, but not titles or certificates on walls. In my experience, it’s often the most useless employees who have names on doors and certificates displayed in frames.

You don’t get my respect simply because you’re the boss. A title doesn’t make you special, nor does a diploma or degree. I’ve never been able to make myself care about hierarchical structures, from school systems to royalty. I’m egalitarian in my beliefs about people.

I don’t do chain-of-command.

I won’t admire you for what you do or have, but for who you are as a person.

Though an inground pool might up the baseline respect.

Now that I’ve patted myself on the back for owning a philosophy shared by many, we can discuss the specific professions I admire.

None. All. Maybe a ballet dancer who works en pointe.

The job is irrelevant to me; the person behind the label, everything.

I admire people, not professions. I can, however, dislike both.

I admire people who are passionate about what they love. I admire people who are knowledgeable in their field and beyond. I admire people who know their worth but aren’t in it for the money. I admire people who go above and beyond. I admire people who are willing to help, do for others, and sacrifice. I admire people who can say “no.”

I admire people with grace. Either variant.

I admire good people. Their profession is largely irrelevant.

22 thoughts on “I’m not hierarchical – an off-the-cuff joint.”

    1. In stoic philosophy, they suggest a practice which can help you detach from things. They tell you to describe things as they are. So that gorgeous Birkin bag is simply dyed-leather, stitched into a bag shape, for caring necessities to and fro. Describing it that way makes it seem worth far less than five figures.
      I must remember to start applying the technique to my dolls. Though them I admire 😉

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  3. I love this! Thanks for sharing. I think some organisations definitely do require more of a hierarchy than others. For example I’m in the military now, not by choice, and it is crazy how much a chain of command means. It does make sense in the context of any potential war, but I’m not for it either😅

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    1. Yes, the military example is problematic. I’m not sure cooperative would work there, but the intensity of the hierarchy within amazes those of us on the outside.

      Thank you for your service, even if it’s not by choice.

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  5. “Decide how “me” I want to be.” Huh… never thought of it that way, but it’s true!

    You know what? Finding ‘compatible circles’ is SO important. In the past, I’ve been fully myself, then, I edited myself and feel like people who are the biggest part of my life don’t get me (and I them). I don’t think they know me and I don’t necessarily want them to know me 100% because of the way they are. And so the cycle perpetuates itself.

    However, I’ve recently been finding more circles that are a great fit (to my surprise) and it’s just SUCH a boost. I had no idea until I experienced it. I was ‘fine’ before I met them, now, I am so much more ‘fine.’ So, I hope you find more and more of those circles.

    “I won’t admire you for what you do or have, but for who you are as a person.” Well said. You say many share that philosophy, but I wouldn’t necessarily agree, from what I’ve been witnessing.

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    1. Perhaps I’m guilty of wishful thinking? I tend to err on the side of Jiminy Cricket when it comes to humans.

      I’m so glad to hear you found new circles that fit and you recommend the work. I have plans to try out a couple of different yoga classes. It’s important in my life and someone who speaks yoga would be a nice friend to have 💜

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  6. I’m often the same in large groups: Quiet and watchful. I gather the same info as you, but I also keep an eye out for “my” kind of people, or at least some people I share some common ground with. I’ve never been shy and never labeled myself as such. I learned the proper word, introverted, when I was 17 or so, then tumbled into a lifelong deep dive study of personality types (INTJ, Enneagram 8) so I could understand myself better.

    I am not as honorable as you. I admire some professions (EMT, firefighter, 911 operator, military members, nurses, doctors, and many more) with the caveat that there are some non-honorable folks in those roles.

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  7. Oh, and hierarchies can kiss my ass. I have never considered others as anything but equals in every organization I’ve been in: schools, clubs, workplaces, etc. I’m sure you can guess how many skirmishes I’ve had throughout the years because of that view. (Spoiler alert: it’s A LOT—folks seem to like wielding their “power” around. 🤣)

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    1. Yeah, our species mostly doesn’t handle authority over others well, and that’s as true at McDonald’s as it is at the Supreme Court. We’ve got to figure out a way get rid of that petty gene.

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  8. I probably would’ve come introvert sooner if other people hadn’t taken over labelling me 😁

    I love personality tests. Now I’m thinking that might be fun. I’m INFJ and 4, myself 😊

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  10. I admire professionals who are very humble on the outside. The ones who never talk about their PhD, those who are willing to listen. They don’t happen very often but when they do, it’s a real treat, music to my ears, healing balm to the wounds

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