The times, they are a-changin‘, not just societally, but for me personally as well. I’m in flux; I feel like I’m standing on unstable ground. Everything is up in the air. Fluidity isn’t my preferred lifestyle: I’m not a fan of uncertainty at the best of times, and a dying parent is not the best of times. I thought I built my house on rock and was impervious to the slings of the world. To find out my world’s built on sand dunes with wind storms fast approaching has been a shock.

On the bright side, things haven’t gone to hell for me in this particular way before now. I’m not being flip: I wouldn’t have handled sick parents well in the times that came before now. Life can be serendipitous on occasion. ^[i] The work leading up to now has paid off: I’m not ‘not mentally ill,’ but I’ve more tools than I did once upon a time.

I’m also using them, something else that’s new. Ditto not responding to pressure and hard emotions with forms of self-harm. That’s some impressive growth especially considering my history, even if I had to realize it by facing things I’d rather not.  

Picking “brave” as my word of the year appears to have been wise, though I wish being brave didn’t walk lockstep with vulnerability (something I forgot).

---

Have you seen the movie “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World?” It stars Steve Carrell and Kiera Knightley, and it’s about the end of the world. You’d probably file it under “seriocomic” if you organize your DVDs by genre that way.^[ii] It’s a “whistling in the dark movie” about finding joy in even the darkest of times. Or perhaps not – I can get these things wrong.

It’s also a movie of great lines and moments; picking a favourite is a challenge. Every moment Rob Corddry is onscreen is a gift. I finally settled on one of the last lines, spoken by Carrell’s Dodge just before the end: “It had to happen now.” ^[iii]

Never underestimate the importance of timing.

---

In the Box, Out of the Box celebrated ten years of blogging this month, an amazing accomplishment. That’s a lot of thinking and a lot of words. A recent post celebrating the milestone – How My Blog Began – introduced me to the practice of using February as “the love month.” It’s not romantic, and the process is simple: take a moment each day to name something or someone you love.

I’m always ready to steal a good idea. Having this plan in place will also provide a bit of structure (it’s more than just a pointed gratitude practice), and I find scaffolding helpful. What am I going to do, however, about the logistics? Should I start a new journal? It’s not like I don’t have ten empty notebooks sitting in a drawer just waiting on a pen. I pulled several out to look at, but they didn’t give me a “love list” vibe. I also don’t think this is what’s going to get me podcasting. “Hello, and welcome to my singular thought” isn’t particularly entertaining.

If only I had something online that functioned somewhat like a notebook that I could update as the month progresses and my love list grows. Like a blog, perhaps.

If only this project didn’t make me want to make a table (I love a good table: the WP table is not one).

I don’t think this prompt will produce a daily post, but dropping in with updates will perhaps inspire something new. We’ll see what happens. It’s a new year, and I’m feeling different: I think my posting’s going to be a little bit more of “anything goes.”

---

The Love List

---

---

^[i] More than occasionally, as it happens. I’ve had some atrociously bad luck and experienced some really bad things, but things have also gone my way at convenient times. Perhaps the universe occasionally feels apologetic?

^[ii] I categorize my DVDs into “adult” and “child,” before alphabetizing them within those categories.

^[iii] Do I have to say “spoiler” if the end of the world is referenced in the movie’s title? Besides, this film came out in 2012 – I feel that there’s a movie-spoiler time limit, after which people shouldn’t have to worry. In my mind, that’s a year. After that, brace yourself. As a side note in my endnotes, this might be the most links I’ve ever included in a piece.

---