Self-Love is a good call.

I’ve been cleaning up my life, and part of that is email. I’ve been furiously unsubscribing to the junk advertising that poses as things I need to know.

And yet, occasionally, some of my subscriptions bear fruit. Take the newsletter I recently received from Clementine.

Clementine, for those not in the know, is a hypnotherapy/mediation app designed primarily for women. It’s kind of awesome: it’s one of the few that regularly survives my app purges. I even bared all to them in a recent email entry to win a workbook. I no longer feel awkward sharing my reality with strangers. Between the doctors and the blog, privacy has started to feel pointless. Though I still relate to Truman: you never had a camera in my head.

The app comes with newsletters. Not many, which is a nice change from the daily multiples one sometimes gets. They’re so infrequent, in fact, that I usually read them. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The last one had a link to a lovely piece on self-love by Brain and Behaviour. I’d have loved it even if it was average because they used “healthily” instead of “healthy” as the modifier that follows “eating.”

They’ve a good definition for self-love, a challenge considering the myriad of barely adequate pop-culture attempts that float by.

“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.”

Self-love grows from self-supporting actions. Simple and obvious and yet many of our actions could be categorized differently. Our default isn’t set correctly, a rather non-adaptive trait. I wonder what caused the skewing from survival behaviour?

Links within links provide an action plan, the seven steps to self-love. I both hate and love prescriptive lists. I consider them reductive and effective. Rock and hard place, like so much of life. To summarize:

  • Become mindful;
  • Act on what you need rather than on what you want;
  • Practice good self-care (often the first to go);
  • Set boundaries (always boundaries);
  • Protect yourself (but not too much);
  • Forgive yourself; and lastly,
  • Live intentionally (a hard one for me; I tend to drift.)

The link to “Self-Love and What It Means” is below. It’s a short read. It took less time to read than it took to eat the fudgesicle I was consuming in accompaniment. I’m giving myself a break from self-judgement: treats before breakfast are a part of that.

You will love others as much as you love yourself, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise. When I’m hating on myself, I can be toxic to be around. That’s not who I want to be.

By Em

I like writing. Words help me unpack my thoughts so things can start to make sense. Once I have both myself and the universe figured out, I plan to take up macrame. "Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing, and learn as you go." E. L. Doctorow

11 comments

  1. For me, self-love is about comfort. I may be repeating myself, but I see self-love as being similar to the way I might love a cozy flannel onesie that’s worn and stained, and one of the buttons keeping the butt flap closed has popped off. It may not be Instagram-worthy, but it will always be my favourite thing to have on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your post reminds me of a youtube video I recently watched called how to be socially magnetic. It includes the mirror technique of looking into one’s eyes, and saying “I like you” type of affirmations. I’m with you on tending to drift from living intentionally and taking a break from self-judgement.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was doing the mirror “I love you” for a time. I forgot to carry on and should get back to it: it does bring feelings of affection to the self (though I felt ridiculous at the beginning) 😌

      Liked by 1 person

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