my child

i would tell you that i love you more than my life,

and that your existence is more vital to me than anything else in the world,

and that your morning smiles give me a reason to get up every day – 

 

i would tell you that since that first moment when they put you in my arms,

after the pain had eased and the blood had stopped flowing,

my heart was lost

and my every happiness was given into your care –

 

i would tell you that every stumble and fall,

every cut and bruise and emotional jab,

every moment that for you was not one of perfect happiness

hurt me as well,

even though i know you needed the falls to learn how to stand

and the sadness to appreciate joy – 

 

i would tell you that i fill with worry and fear as you grow and step away,

that every move you make towards independence is a necessary

stab in my heart that i endure, believing it vital,

but if i could, i would trap you and keep you here unchanging and mine forever –

 

i would tell you these things if i could but it would be unworthy;

love that is conditional and seeks boundaries is not love;

i would not put a weight on your shoulders that is not yours to bear.

all that’s left then, is for me to tell you is that i love you

as i let you go.

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