I haven’t spent a day without at least one open wound on my person since I was nineteen, usually on my face. My work on eating disorder recovery is going well, but learning not to cut obsessively at the “imperfections” on my face is harder. [i] A combination of things led to the pattern of behaviour that doctors and other smart people now want to … Continue reading The healing of (passive aggressive) wounds.
“I’m failing at my eating disorder and my eating disorder voice reminds me of that fact incessantly. She’s a bitch that way.
I feel bad about failing, which is odd, considering that I’m mourning the absence of incredibly destructive behaviours. We miss what we know, even if it’s negative; we miss the loss of the familiar.
I’m failing because I’m eating…” Continue reading Failing at my eating disorder.
“i like to read books about religion and philosophy. they’re often helpful as i battle with mental health issues. i read an entry every morning, a kind of daily devotion practice, and i usually find something applicable to my current situation. of course, my inside voice tries to point out that i’d be much further along in recovery if i’d started doing this years ago, but i’m getting better at telling that voice to go away and leave me alone. it’s enough that i’m doing it now.” Continue reading not today
my clothes are mean to me. i’m not sure why i invited them into my home. what possessed me to give cupboard space to such bullies and liar? Continue reading my clothes are mean to me
From Famine to Feast. 