"trapped inside, my feelings seethe about, seeking expression. i don’t know what they are; i can’t name them..."
“As a twig is bent, so grows the tree.” Thanks to Alexander Pope for that truth, but as it stands, it’s incomplete. Sometimes, the bend is not due to external forces. Sometimes, we shape ourselves. We prune, and we do it badly..."
"...I’m not ready to change, my eating disorder tells me. I’m not perfect yet. My depression concurs since it’s decided to act up too, and where my depression goes, my anxiety follows. So, basically, I’m a big ball of triggered with the potential for some self-harm thrown in. December is hard..."
"Feeling alone, feeling like an alien, feeling like you don’t belong anywhere is hard. It’s isolating, and isolation doesn’t lead to anything good. Dark feelings are amplified when you hide them away from the world. When you keep to yourself and don’t share. We all need connection. We all need to be heard."
a child looks on
as voices rant and rail.
a single tear falls
"I don’t want to get better. I want to be better.
I’m tired. Mental health struggles are tiring. Depression is tiring. Anxiety is tiring. An eating disorder is tiring.
They’re boring too. They bore me..."
"on this dark and quiet night,
my only companion is the flicker of the dashboard lights.
my thoughts are at rest,
i am steeped in rote as i retrace
the well-known path toward home..."