I don’t always mind my delusional thinking. I find it helpful at times. It can make the consequences of poor choices more palatable. It can make difficult situations more tolerable. Delusional thinking can minimize potential conflicts; I don’t have to acknowledge transgressions no matter how egregious.
Denial, after all, is more than a river in Egypt…
Continue reading I don’t always mind my delusional thinking.
…It is shocking to me how much time not participating in my eating disorder takes up. How much specific and cognitive work goes into the process. I spend a lot of time having conversations with myself… Continue reading Hoarding food in a secret drawer.
I wrote this in my journal the other morning when I woke up already in trouble. I consider the writing to be a win. I awoke to a brain running at a hundred miles an hour and anxiety beating at my brain before my feet hit the floor… Continue reading There is breath.
I have an addict’s brain. Not in a jar on my desk or anything like that. It’s the one in my head. I don’t know if I was born this way or developed the tendency, if my addict brain is nature or nurture. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. My reality is what it is… Continue reading How I mitigate my addict brain.
From Famine to Feast 