Tag: anxiety

Mental Health

Titles are annoying, Part I.

“Titles are annoying, both status-based and written. Social titles are annoying, creating an artificial hierarchical structure that I refuse to buy into. Titles for written works are also annoying. Creating new ones over and over is onerous. I hate trying to be clever and attention-grabbing. I hate trying to summarize my thoughts in seven words or less. If I could do that, I wouldn’t need three pages of writing. I would be queen of the aphorism…” Continue reading Titles are annoying, Part I.

Unknown's avatarMichelle8 Comments
Mental Health

Negotiating the contradictions.

I’ve mostly quit smoking. Kind of. I’m trying. I read Allan Carr’s book “Easy Way for Women to Quit Smoking” last week. He’s quite the guru and the book is the bomb; this is the best I’ve ever felt about quitting, despite the fact that I’m still sneaking a puff or two every so often. And yes, I know that’s the road to ruin or at least the road to back to half a pack a day but for some reason or other, despite my change in attitude and despite the interesting things I learned about smoking, I just can’t bring myself to fully cut the cord, pull the trigger, break the connection. The good thing is that those puffs are starting to taste quite nasty… Continue reading Negotiating the contradictions.

Unknown's avatarMichelle13 Comments
Mental Health

My recovery reflection.

I can’t see myself properly. It’s frustrating as hell.
I distort what I see when I look at myself in mirrors and reflective surfaces. This is unfortunate; I look at my reflection a lot. I need to because when I haven’t seen myself in a while – and “a while” can mean anything from seconds to hours – the image in my head starts to distort. I no longer know what I look like. I lose any sense of my appearance. I start to feel strange, warped, and abnormal. In my head, my self-image becomes almost cubist. It’s a very strange thing. I need to see myself in a mirror to reassure myself that I’m not really a freak…
Continue reading My recovery reflection.

Unknown's avatarMichelle5 Comments