making chili, an exercise in recovery
I made a vegetarian chili this weekend. I’m not sure how much actual cooking was involved. It was mostly opening cans and dumping them in a crock pot. True, I chopped up the onions and celery and added the spices. Perhaps I’ll call it “cooking-light”.
Still, it’s a step in the right direction, a step away from the way I currently eat.
Learning to eat in recovery is hard. An eating disorder takes away your ability to interact with food in a “normal” way. Food is either good or bad. Good food is low calorie and a high water content. Bad food is everything else…
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control z
i live with one foot firmly planted in the world of imagination and fantasy
and i like being there,
able to infinitely repeat and revise the moments in my life
that upon reflection cause me dissatisfaction… Continue reading control z
why not me?
I used to ask, “why me?” frequently. It seemed to me my lot in life was unfair. It seemed the amount of suffering I endured was disproportionately harsh compared to my peers. Of course, I didn’t stop to think that compared to others in this world, my life was relatively easy and trouble-free.
Still, where we live is our reality; comparisons are pointless.
So is asking “why me?”
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wanting someone else to be in charge
Sometimes, days are hard. I thought that would change once I was an adult. I expected that at some point a magic switch would get thrown, my thinking would straighten out, my brain would work properly, I’d always know the right thing to do, and I’d feel good about myself. It was a shock to realize that wasn’t going to be the case.
It was a shock to realize that your brain remains the same…
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