Once upon a time, early in the aughts, I had a thought – they’re rare, so I try to mark the occasions. I thought that maybe I’d buy an old, 1982 Honda Civic station wagon to repair and get back into running shape. I’d had one during my first few years at university, and loved it. I thought I could get one of those “All About” car repair manuals and work on it with my son.

I didn’t do it, for various reasons and to some regret. I liked that car. I also like knowing more about things. Ignorance can leave you weak, vulnerable, and suggestible, and I like none of these things for myself.

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My father is a big fan of “tickets.” That’s how he refers to the bits and pieces of paper that come with training and qualifications. He likes learning, and he likes the ‘I did it’ cards that often accompany it. He always encouraged us to collect them, and I complied.

Some of my tickets include my university degree – political science and economics, with a fair chunk of English and psychology courses thrown in for spice. I have a Teach English as a Second Language diploma. I liked the minor in Chinese history I took with it.

I have a certificate for bartending. I have several first aid certifications – the Industrial is lapsed, but it was there, and I mostly remember stuff. I have a paralegal certificate, and one for office management as well. That last one provided the most useful of life skills – keyboarding. I suppose I excelled there due to another of my tickets – piano player.

I have a folder full of congratulatory certificates from the weekend and short-term coursework I participated in that declare my proficiency in areas such as bread making, Greek cooking, trauma-informed childcare, or regular vehicle maintenance.

That last one was extremely basic – eight hours of how to change a tire, check the oil, check the tire pressure, and review fluid levels. I’d have enjoyed it more if my parents hadn’t demanded we acquire those skills as the cost of using their cars. At least I went with a friend.

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I tend to intellectual pursuits; I’d like to add more practical skills to my repertoire. I’m lacking, and it irks.

I wish I knew more about painting – art or a room, either would be fine. I wish I knew more about photography. I wish I knew how to make window decals – I have bumper sticker plans.

I wish I were better with yard tools. I wish I were better with power tools. I would like built-ins. These would be easier to produce if I weren’t a little frightened by power saws and their digit-stealing relatives.

I wish I knew how to sail – properly, not the slapdash skillset I currently possess. I wanted my dad to teach me, but when I’d ask, he’d tell me I already knew what to do. Sure, as long as you aren’t asking me to pick the correct way to turn when two boats are headed toward each other. Sure, as long as you aren’t asking me to teach someone else.

“Watch, do, teach” to know something.

On the bright side, I always wear a lifejacket. I’m a great swimmer – yes, there’s a ticket – but not when I’m unconscious.

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I wish I understood physics and chemistry better. They’re both fascinating fields. I don’t regret studying biology; I like knowing about life, but I wish I’d had time to study all the sciences with a degree of depth.

I wish I understood more about forest management. That last one would be especially nice considering the impact climate change is having on the wildfire season. For starters, we now talk about a wildfire season.

I would like to know how to fly. I’m not picky: I’m fine with either learning how to pilot a helicopter or a plane, or harnessing the power of my mind. I’m sure I managed to fly off the front steps and around the neighbourhood when I was a child, despite the parental disbelief shown to me at the time.

I wish I knew more about gardening. I wish I knew more about plants, zones, soils, and biodiversity. I wish I knew more about cars and car engines, though I’m not sure much repair work is still possible for the average person, considering how very technical and futuristic things are looking under the hood. I had to watch a video to find out where they hid the battery in my car – underneath a plastic panel, in case you were wondering.

I wish I knew more about business ethics. My commentary and scorn about the current lack thereof would be more pointed if I had a greater knowledge base. As it is, I’m forced to substitute viciousness for specificity. Not that I mind – the greed of the current crop of corporate execs is no small thing, and they deserve our contempt.

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I wish I knew more about guns and weaponry.

This is a new wish. I’m a bit of a pacifist at heart. I tend to a soft vegetarianism, as well – killing things is just so ick. Unfortunately, we live in interesting times, and I live in a Canada that is regularly threatened with war and annexation by the current leadership of the USA.

This is what it must have felt like to be Poland in the mid-twentieth century. This is what it must’ve been like to be in Ukraine as Putin postured and threatened before beginning the murderous, illegal invasion that has left so many dead.

I wish I knew more about the practical business of war. I wish I knew more about the practical business of guerrilla resistance. On the bright side, videos and courses abound. Perhaps it’s time to become an irregular warfare expert?

I sure don’t like living in interesting times.

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