I don’t do all that well in groups, especially in groups I arrive at after-the-fact. This is as true of friendship as it is of the workspace. You can break into established groups, but because you’re late to the party, you have to play by their rules for a while even if you disagree with them.

I’m not wired that way.

People used to ask me why I was quiet, and I’d tell them I was shy. That’s not exactly true but a soundbite is often easier. I’m quiet because I’m self-conscious in groups (especially new ones) over this perceived flaw and that one, but what others label “shy” (or snooty) is more along the lines of quiet watchfulness. I like to get the lay of the land and figure out who the players are and where they sit, socio-politically.

Decide how “me” I want to be.

I didn’t realize that I wasn’t shy until quite recently. I also get anxious (of the anxiety disorder type) when approaching groups. Still not shyness.

Labelling things correctly is important, don’t you agree?

These days, I play nice at gatherings or I don’t go. Argument rarely changes opinion, dislike and contempt almost never, and I’m tired of being the person who rubs others the wrong way, even if I’m doing it for the right reasons (which sounds arrogant, but I swear I’m usually on the side of the good guys).

I need more compatible circles. I refuse to learn how to let racism and bigotry go. Contrary to one suggestion, it will not be like water off a duck’s back.

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Work circles are different animals. In the work world, I admire expertise and time served, but not titles or certificates on walls. In my experience, it’s often the most useless employees who have names on doors and certificates displayed in frames.

You don’t get my respect simply because you’re the boss. A title doesn’t make you special, nor does a diploma or degree. I’ve never been able to make myself care about hierarchical structures, from school systems to royalty. I’m egalitarian in my beliefs about people.

I don’t do chain-of-command.

I won’t admire you for what you do or have, but for who you are as a person.

Though an inground pool might up the baseline respect.

Now that I’ve patted myself on the back for owning a philosophy shared by many, we can discuss the specific professions I admire.

None. All. Maybe a ballet dancer who works en pointe.

The job is irrelevant to me; the person behind the label, everything.

I admire people, not professions. I can, however, dislike both.

I admire people who are passionate about what they love. I admire people who are knowledgeable in their field and beyond. I admire people who know their worth but aren’t in it for the money. I admire people who go above and beyond. I admire people who are willing to help, do for others, and sacrifice. I admire people who can say “no.”

I admire people with grace. Either variant.

I admire good people. Their profession is largely irrelevant.

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