Four weeks ago, I started an elimination diet to check for food allergies and intolerances. It’s been suggested for years but I’ve been resistant.

My eating disorder is fine with it controlling what I eat, but less down with other people’s impositions.

I suppose that’s ironic, a structured eating situation unwilling to accept another structured eating situation?

Part of it’s control – I dislike not having it. But I got tired of swollen ankles, bad digestion, and chronic skin problems. If they aren’t related to food, no harm, no foul, but I owe it to myself to try.

I’m done ascribing the issues to personal (moral) failings.

And so, I began.

I wasn’t a good sport during the first week. I love it when people complain about things they do to themselves, and apparently, I’m not immune.

It’s now week four. The first two weeks were the flushing of tissues and toxins. ^[i] I ate mostly rice and beans, with some fruits, fats, and vegetables to keep things balanced. The goal is a cleaned-out digestive tract and an immune system at rest, not negative consequences from starvation.

Been there, done that.

There’s also no alcohol during the detox phase, but for me, that’s nothing. I rarely imbibe. ^[ii]

The lack of fat is a problem – a mini-own-goal since I didn’t like the olive or coconut options. Unfortunately, without fat, staying satiated is a challenge.

I’ve been eating more sauces – red pasta sauces, vinegars, salsas, and hot sauce. I’m looking forward to the return of butter (dairy) this week. I’m a fan.

I started the cleanse-slash-detox with an assumption. I assumed that the culprit was going to be the much-reviled aspartame. God knows the world hates an artificial sweetener, and there was a much-overhyped announcement regarding its possibility as a carcinogen recently.

I consume and have consumed a lot of artificial sweetener in my life. No calories is an easy sell to the eating disordered. A lot of my “meals” have been lettuce with vinegar and salt, with a diet cola on the side. Sometimes, I’d add garlic powder as a treat. To the lettuce, not the “salad.”

I pay more attention to cancer warnings now that I’ve quit smoking. Before that occurrence, adhering to carcinogen concerns felt hypocritical. Now that my lungs are less polluted, I’m willing to listen to good advice. ^[iii]

A good phrase that, “good advice.” We live in a weirdly connected world where advice is as common as dirt. Everyone has an opinion on everything and too many share their thoughts and concerns, lack of education or straight wrongheadedness notwithstanding.

The field of nutrition, cleanses, detox, and weight loss is full of garbage information. Some of it’s deliberate, designed to part you from your money rather than your pounds, and some of it is because people are too willing to believe things they hear from talking heads online, without doing their own research.

Of course, a lot of people also don’t know how to research or vet sources, but that’s another rant.

Perhaps the most egregious offence, the one that makes me fume and rage, is the one that uses fear of science to keep people away from foods that aren’t harmful at all.

Most of us didn’t take higher-level chemistry. We don’t know the words. We don’t know what the chemical names mean, nor do we know what they signify. That doesn’t stop people from declaring them bad because they’re multisyllabic.

“If you can’t pronounce it, you shouldn’t eat it,” is a big, fat lie. RRR-alpha-tocopherol looks scary (and how one pronounces the triple-r is a mystery) but skip vitamin E, and you’ll be sorry. Unless stroke, cerebral palsy, or Crohn’s is your jam.

The other term that crops up too often in articles about eating healthy and elimination cleanses is “natural.” People love that word. Gwyneth Paltrow turned it into a mission statement and lifestyle brand.

It’s a word that doesn’t mean much, and definitely doesn’t mean “good for you.”  It’s akin to the scary word rejection. People project the idea that minimally-processed things or things in their natural state are inherently good. We like things that are easy to understand, and we’ve been trained to think of “natural” as “good for you.”

Nature is good. Simple is good. Not natural is bad. Complications are bad.

It would be sweet if this philosophy was true, but it’s not.

Making us lazy (energy conservers) was a bad species choice.

Tigers are natural. So is arsenic. So is lead. So is asbestos. The sun is natural, but stare at it too long and you’ll go blind. Stay out unprotected and you risk skin cancer. Tobacco is natural. Pulling a trigger is simple.

Influencers harken back to the old days because they imagine things were simpler. They skip an important fact – in the old days, we died. Lots. ^[iv]

I expected to learn that aspartame wasn’t for me. I expected to learn that the diet pop and diet iced tea I consume with reckless abandon aren’t for me. I was sure that the symptoms were going to be related to the manmade chemicals, despite my scorn for that simplified explanation.

I have bad news. Or rather, I have incomplete news since I’m not done, but what I’ve learned so far is pissing me off.

My body doesn’t love gluten. Wheat’s the ingredient, gluten proteins are the likely cause. This is going to be a problem, in that at least sixty percent of my diet is wheat-based or has wheat in it.

We phased wheat back in last Monday, and by Wednesday, the sore joints and digestive distress I laid at Diet Coke’s door were back. So much for fettuccini (at least the gluten-filled type). So much for bagels. So much for so much.

Fingers crossed that dairy makes the list. I think it will – I mostly consume easy-to-digest types – yogurt, cheese, and curds. I’m fine with milk substitutes (skip almond milk as the production takes too much water), but they don’t always work for cooking (I’m talking to you, cream soup).

Because I’m registering intolerances and not allergies, I don’t have to fear gluten the way someone with celiac disease does. But because it doesn’t make me feel good, and because I now know that, making bad choices is more of a challenge.

Gluten is now like prawns (though I’m not allergic to shellfish or seafood, that exclusion is price-based): a treat rather than a regular dietary feature.

A seasonal or biannual detox to focus on eating light is something everyone could do. It helps a body out. I felt pretty good after two weeks of no processed food, and I’m sure my organs wept tears of gratitude over the reduction in sodium coming their way.

I love not having sore ankles.

If, however, you’re considering an elimination diet to pinpoint sensitivities, intolerances, and allergies, I suggest doing it with some version of a professional: a doctor, nurse practitioner, or nutritionist will not only guide you through the practicalities but will help you figure out what to eat to keep protein and fat levels up. They can also order tests for baselines and result confirmation.

Here’s hoping gluten’s your friend.

---

(You’re not mistaken – the pattern of capitalization does change across my titles. That’s because I’m trapped between correct – capital case – and what I like – sentence case.)

---

[i] I use “toxin” as shorthand. The things we’re talking about aren’t actually toxic. It’s an overused word.

[ii] I kind of hate the term “detox,” but I’m using it as a shorthand convenience. You’re not technically “detoxing.” Your body removes toxins constantly via the lungs, kidneys, liver, and digestive system. What you’re really doing is eating easy food.

[iii] Oddly, having DCIS (early breast cancer) didn’t have that effect, despite the lumpectomy and radiation.

[iv] To have butter, you have to have a cow, which you have to take care of, and you have to milk twice a day, and then you have to churn. Don’t even get me started on personal hygiene. Now and here (the developed world) are better.

---