The Perfect Form.

I don’t like change and I work hard to avoid it. Except sometimes. Mostly, however, that’s a truism. I don’t change my schedule. I don’t go to new grocery stores, even when I could save money by doing so. I don’t buy gas at the store across the street from my bodega even when it’s cheaper because I’m not familiar with it. I don’t vary the route I take through the neighbourhood when I walk. I don’t welcome new people. I do the same things at the same time on the same days and rarely change. I keep the same doctors and dentists, even if they aren’t doing the best job. Change is difficult for me. It’s agitating and anxiety-provoking...

Most problems don’t develop instantly; why do we expect them to resolve that way?

Generally speaking, problems don’t develop instantly. Especially emotional or metaphysical problems. There are exceptions: a blown tire or broken bone, for example, are instant. But the bigger issues – our depression, our apathy, our temper, our addictions, our maladjusted coping mechanisms – develop over a prolonged period. They start with a seed and grow until they’ve matured, often into a full-blown crisis...

50 things I’ve learned in my first fifty years.

I’m turning fifty this week – thank you – and it occurs to me that I’ve acquired some knowledge and insight in that time. I thought it might be interesting to sit with myself and figure out what some of that is. As you travel through life, you pick up interesting bits and pieces of information and form ideas about this, that, and the other. In the interest of symmetry, I decided to share fifty of mine. Some are deep, and some less so. So, in no particular order, because I’m simply writing things down as they occur to me, I present my list (which, now that I’m finished is very long, so apologies for that):...

I wish I didn’t care so much.

I wish I didn’t care about anything but myself. It would make life a lot easier to navigate. I bet people who truly don’t care don’t suffer from mood disorders. I care about so many things I even anthropomorphize. I get guilt if I don’t rescue a worm from the sidewalk. What if it’s scared or frightened? I worry if I don’t acknowledge both of the stuffed animals that sit on my desk; I’m afraid if I pet only one, the other’s feelings will be hurt...

You have the right to remain silent.

You have the right to remain silent. It’s hard to remember that sometimes. The right to remain silent applies to a variety of situations. Our opinions are not always needed. Our thoughts are not always wanted. They’re often inappropriate and sometimes, they reach the level of vaguely vicious. Too often, in our rush to comment and share our thoughts, politeness and consideration drift away, replaced by judgment and intolerance...