I put things off. I put things off and I do it with malice aforethought. I put things off because of my anxiety. Or my PTSD. Or my humanity – I’m never sure about attribution. I get overwhelmed by requirements and obligations external and self-imposed. And when I get overwhelmed, things don’t go well for me. Anxiety rises, panic threatens, and negative coping skills shake … Continue reading Get it done. Or don’t. It’s really your call.
We’re not an honest species and I wonder about that. Telling the truth isn’t something we do as a matter of course. Lying is in our genes; we do it well and frequently. I’ve found myself lying to people for no reason other than the opportunity was there, and the brain went for it. Little untruths, lies about an upcoming event or something in a … Continue reading Lie to everyone, except yourself.
I don’t remember that many happy times. I know they exist. There’s one of me riding a bike I come back to regularly. Much of my past is blurry, however. I have flashes and snatches, but my memory isn’t great when it comes to the day-to-day. I blame the unholy trifecta of trauma, PTSD, and age. Worst band name ever. I drifted into a relationship … Continue reading The happiest day ever was a Saturday in December.
It’s been a rough week. I’d been getting a little thin, so I thought I’d gain a little weight. I didn’t talk to anyone beforehand, of course. At any rate, I’ve gained some, but between working on my body dysmorphia and a strained effort at reconnection by my daughter (I can hear my counsellor’s voice, “why are you giving her this much power over you,” … Continue reading Early memes were fun.
From Famine to Feast 