I’ve been thinking about my “who’s driving the bus” life analogy. It’s been on my mind because my bus is missing. That’s not symbolism, it’s a literal thing. The bus has left the building, or at least my office. The bus analogy is basically this: our lives are a bus ride. Life is better if we’re driving the bus and in charge of our lives. … Continue reading Making better fashion choices.
“I’ve been giving some thought to an issue that’s come up and I’ve come to a conclusion that startled me: I don’t think I like chocolate very much. This has kind of rocked my world…” Continue reading Deep thoughts about chocolate.
I can’t see myself properly. It’s frustrating as hell.
I distort what I see when I look at myself in mirrors and reflective surfaces. This is unfortunate; I look at my reflection a lot. I need to because when I haven’t seen myself in a while – and “a while” can mean anything from seconds to hours – the image in my head starts to distort. I no longer know what I look like. I lose any sense of my appearance. I start to feel strange, warped, and abnormal. In my head, my self-image becomes almost cubist. It’s a very strange thing. I need to see myself in a mirror to reassure myself that I’m not really a freak…
Continue reading My recovery reflection.
…It is shocking to me how much time not participating in my eating disorder takes up. How much specific and cognitive work goes into the process. I spend a lot of time having conversations with myself… Continue reading Hoarding food in a secret drawer.
From Famine to Feast 