I admire Commander Data. It must be nice to think clearly no matter the situation, to remain unswayed by emotional tempests. Unless your evil twin implants an evil chip. Thinking clearly is a cherished goal of mine. I’d love to be able to logic my way through the mental chaos that’s inside me all too often. Applying logic to thoughts is part of philosophy. It’s … Continue reading Logic and id.
I think about death sometimes. I think about being not dead and what that means. I think about all the time I spent, passively and actively trying to get dead. I think about death less than I used to but perhaps more than many other people. At least I suspect I do. When you dance on the line between life and not-life, when you flirt … Continue reading Thinking about death: thoughts on life.
I don’t experience the absence of hope as despair. At least not right away. I’ve experienced the absence of hope before. It dribbles away, piece by piece as depression moves into ascendancy. Hope vanishes as you sink, inversely proportionate to how much you need it. You aren’t despairing yet, however. Before despair moves in, there’s emptiness. In ways, I prefer despair. At least it’s something. … Continue reading The absence of hope is not yet despair.
This is not the post that was going to be up today, which from my current perspective, is tomorrow. I have one about antibiotics ready to go but the day started hard and got worse since then, a consequence of talking to my psychiatrist. There was nothing particularly dire about the conversation, it’s just that I often get a mood drop after talking to my … Continue reading Depression, yada yada yada.
From Famine to Feast 