I had a thought but then I lost it. I’d look for it but that would require challenging the inertia depression brings to my reality. Except inertia has been in abeyance for the last few days. I’ve been productive. I’ve been in an oddly good mood. These two things are probably not unconnected. My anxiety’s reaction to the improved mood is to suggest it’s the … Continue reading A good mood, a bad autobiography, and a bookcase.
I’m rarely lonely when alone. I’m often lonely around other people. It’s the connection. It’s the lack. I feel disconnected from the people around me, even when they’re family and friends. It’s like I’m surrounded by a bubble that prevents me from reaching and being reached. It’s like we function on parallel but different, non-intersecting planes. Most of the time, when I start to feel … Continue reading Alone in the crowd.
Gone fishing. Or fishin’. I’m never sure. The point is, I’m going. Not fishing. I don’t fish. I’m down with lazily floating on a lake in the sunshine, assuming the sun ever arrives for more than a fifteen-minute window on the West Coast this year, but catching and killing something is far outside my comfort zone. Fish comes from Captain Highliner. Period. At any rate, … Continue reading Gone fishing.
(Priorities (part one)) My least favourite part of writing is when I sit down to the sleeping computer and I can see my reflection in it. The more depressed I get, the harder it gets to look at myself. I told my counsellor today that I had an image of reaching into the computer and shredding every scrap of evidence of my online presence because … Continue reading There’s some anger (part two)
From Famine to Feast 