Tag: anxiety

Mental Health

I wish I didn’t care so much.

I wish I didn’t care about anything but myself. It would make life a lot easier to navigate.

I bet people who truly don’t care don’t suffer from mood disorders.

I care about so many things I even anthropomorphize. I get guilt if I don’t rescue a worm from the sidewalk. What if it’s scared or frightened? I worry if I don’t acknowledge both of the stuffed animals that sit on my desk; I’m afraid if I pet only one, the other’s feelings will be hurt…
Continue reading I wish I didn’t care so much.

Unknown's avatarMichelle5 Comments
Mental Health

Depression has me in a “fuck it” state of mind.

I’m having a bad day and it’s only seven thirty in the morning. Everyone gets bad days, I know, but it’s problematic when the bad days pile one on top of the other even when there’s nothing wrong. Especially when nothing’s wrong. You look at your life and point out all the positives and the only internal response is “so what, who cares, why bother?” Continue reading Depression has me in a “fuck it” state of mind.

Unknown's avatarMichelle2 Comments
Mental Health

An Eating Disorder Journal entry.

I binged and purged last night. It was the fat thoughts. I’ve gained about ten pounds and the weight that is supposed to help me is killing me, or at least that’s what it feels like. Thinner, thinner, thinner is all I think about now. Diet hard, exercise. Forget quitting smoking, forget friends and family. Forget writing, forget recovery, forget life. Forget everything but getting thin, back to bones… Continue reading An Eating Disorder Journal entry.

Unknown's avatarMichelle13 Comments
Mental Health

Saying “I love you” to myself.

I recently reread Cheryl Richardson’s “The Art of Extreme Selfcare”. I bought it a couple of years ago and read it cover to cover at the time. I took notes, highlighted important passages, and implemented nothing. Change, even positive change, is challenging and can be difficult to implement. We cling to our default settings with our dying grasp, even when they’re harmful. I’ve been dissatisfied … Continue reading Saying “I love you” to myself.

Unknown's avatarMichelle4 Comments