Eating disorder recovery is a bitch.

Eating disorders have one goal, and it’s not to get you thin. An eating disorder is trying to get you dead. There is no weight, no body shape, and no silhouette that is acceptable. The goals constantly shift. Additionally, recovery requires that you still engage with all the things that are problematic, and that are killing you. You cannot give up eating. You cannot give … Continue reading Eating disorder recovery is a bitch.

Quit smoking or don’t, time marches on.

I quit smoking two years ago yesterday. It seems both longer and like no time at all. I’m not an ex-smoker who misses it. Though I’d tried before August 2020 to quit and had been unsuccessful, this time it took. I quit and didn’t look back. I wore the patch for a few days, had a few low-level cravings, and that was it. I worried … Continue reading Quit smoking or don’t, time marches on.

What do you think about sympathy?

My mother once told me that self-inflicted wounds get no sympathy. She was probably trying to inspire a stiff upper lip as I faced unpleasant consequences, but it’s a philosophy I’ve never been able to get behind. Our most grievous wounds are often self-inflicted (unless we’re unfortunate enough to be involved in a natural disaster or alien invasion) and they need all the sympathy in … Continue reading What do you think about sympathy?

Clogs and plantar fasciitis.

I’ve been feeling better mentally. I’m still a little insane, what with the sprained hippocampus and chronic mental illness, but I feel solid. Maybe it’s because things are chaotic? Perhaps I need dark days and misery to shine? I worry about the improvements lasting a little: I’ve felt new before. But there are changes this time that didn’t happen before. I’m not interested in being … Continue reading Clogs and plantar fasciitis.