I am an addict. I’m a promiscuous one as well; I don’t have any brand loyalty. Some people don’t believe in an addictive personality. Since I possess one, I tend to disagree. I have spent my life looking for ways to alter my mood, to make me either not-me or absent in my head and I haven’t been overly picky about what I do to … Continue reading When your drug is addiction.
I find it odd when I wake up with an established mood. Shouldn’t I wake up neutral? Some people wake up moody because they’ve been disturbed by their dreams; they’re sad or upset or angry based on the real but not real nocturnal adventures they’ve been through. I don’t remember my dreams so I expect morning equanimity. A mood that’s neither up nor down, just … Continue reading When you wake up angry.
The tree is up. It has no decorations this year but there’s a two-year-old in the house so the decision to go “only lights” is a logical one. I’m not interested in playing “find the ornament” ever again. The décor is out as well; again, in a limited fashion and placed up high. The presents are wrapped and tucked away in my closet; the few … Continue reading Insert appropriate seasonal greeting here.
I do the right things most of the time. I think the right thoughts – okay, I still have to do cognitive and dialectic work to counter the neurotic inside voices, but I’m trying. I make the right choices. I’m basically a good person and I’m trying to be a better one.
I want a reward for my efforts, despite life not promising that…
Continue reading Where’s my reward for playing the game?
From Famine to Feast 