One of the interesting things about humans is the way we assume we’re like everyone else in most respect. Variations are a surprise.

Or perhaps that’s a “me” thing. At any rate, assumptions are a double-edged sword.

For instance, I’ve always assumed that everyone I know thinks like me about politics – progressive, abortion – pro-choice, and immigration – accepting of most. It’s an attitude that to me seems logical and full of grace. I’ve come to learn, however, that other people sometimes disagree with my points of view, emphatically.

Though I did continue my pushback with a longtime friend who has drifted to the right. She mentioned at lunch that she’s starting to think that maybe COVID-19 was just a conspiracy. She works in healthcare.

I shut that down instantly. I’m not going there with people anymore. I’m not sacrificing myself to keep the peace.

I’m pretty pissed off at the personality changes arising since her marriage. I didn’t realize how far to the right her now-husband is. It’s disappointing, the way he and his circle talk about people.

At least she has a will. She listened to me there. Most of my friends did because I got on their cases.

You need a will if you’re a grownup. If you have kids, it’s imperative.

If you’re an adult with thoughts about how you’d like your end-of-life care to go, that’s another reason to get a will.

It’s not surprising people procrastinate. It deals with death, and who wants that, and it seems like a confusing and expensive proposition. It’s easy to move it to the mental “get to it later” pile.

Professionals try and make things in their arenas seem complicated and obscure. Jargon doesn’t help. And while some tasks are – I wouldn’t try conveyance or splenectomy without training – wills can mostly be done by the rank and file.

A will is simply a document that tells the people left behind how you want things to go. What do you want to have happen to the assets in your possession, and what would you’d like to have happen with your minor children? And your pets. If you regularly have pets, make instructions. Work out plans with people in advance.

People aren’t as reasonable as you think they’ll be about much in life. That trait’s made worse when you add grief to the mix.

A will is also not a “one and done” proposition. Things change. The will you wrote when your kids were toddlers will be different than the one you write when they’re adults. The assets available for disbursement will likely change as well.

Be specific about things you want to bequeath. Don’t assume word of mouth is enough. Grieving people will fight over a quilt to their last breath.

Don’t use dollar values in your will. Use percentages. Dollar values of assets can fluctuate, and this can change what the distribution of an estate looks like. Specific bequests are dealt with first. If you used money amounts, but the value of the estate plummets, a balance you planned to leave to your nearest and dearest can plunge from healthy to absent.

Register your will. Yes, it costs a bit, but don’t cheap out here. A registered will is easy to find if the hard copy goes missing. This brings us to:

Tell people where the will is. Give someone a copy. Keep with your will the information they’ll need when you shuffle off this mortal coil. You can buy a kit. Because when you die, your knowledge of accounts, numbers, logins, and emails dies with you. Ditto your social media. And that is information the executor will need to have.

Set up “what to do in the event of my death” plans on your social media accounts, emails, and subscriptions. Our lives are a lot fuller than we sometimes think. We are buried under our personal bureaucracy. Let the people you’ve designated know. This is not the time to give someone a shock.

You can choose someone you know as an executor if a couple of criteria are met. You must ask. Probating a will is a lot of work. The executor receives a percentage of the estate for the work but said work can be extensive. Much depends on the life the deceased lived.

Note your preferences for what comes next. Do you want a burial or are you team cremation? Are you looking for a green burial, or do you want to be turned into a tree?

You can also plan it yourself. And pre-pay. Most funeral homes have plans to prepurchase. Do your homework though. Check them out. And then get it done. Pick the casket. The method. The number of death certificates. The service or lack thereof. I have one friend who also has a playlist.

If you’re thinking of no service, I urge you to reconsider. It can look like a party if that’s your jam – I once went to a Celebration of Life that was a gambling and carnival night. It was lovely. Roulette, blackjack, and poker. Pictures of the deceased printed on labels slapped on beers. People were talking and sharing. That’s who services are for. For the living.

It’s the last gift you can give.

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(If you’re not new, then you’ll know that I’ve been struggling with depression of late, and it’s been severe. If you’re new, welcome, thank you, and I’ve been struggling with my depression of late.

This essay isn’t a subtle hint about my state of mind. My dad talks to me a lot about their end-of-life plans these days, and he recently asked me about my will. That’s when I realized it was about five years out of date. And as I’m not different from the hoi polloi in every way, I concluded that maybe some other people have forgotten about the work they have to put in when it comes to prepping for their death.

Hey, an idea is an idea.

Besides, being an ostrich only works if you’re an ostrich.)

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You can get almost anything on the internet. These examples are Canadian, but you’ll find the same options nearly everywhere.

• Do-it-yourself will kits
• Estate planning
• Sample Living Will

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