I’m full of “what if”. I make the safe choice regularly. I make the “no choice” even more often. Fear plays a big part. It’s easy to listen to her. She swears the embarrassment that comes from failing is fatal. She lies but I believe her on some level and restrict my behaviour accordingly.
Yet, I’ve been embarrassed before and here I sit, not dead.
Enter the new plan. Do stuff. Use “oops” often.
From Famine to Feast. 
Yes, I think you are right not to give into paralysis through fear. I need to make a better effort in that regard too.
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It’s hard. Fear is a determined little beast. But I remind myself that for all the times I’ve been so afraid, here I sit, not dead and not really harmed. I like it when logic works for me. 🙂
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That is good logic. Of course one day one may wake in a less ideal state! Nonetheless what you say is generally true. However it is one thing to realize such things intellectually and quiet another matter to implement them emotionally. Much has been made of talk therapy over the past 100 years and yet I do not believe Freud or his successors ever actually cured anybody. Fear in some of us is an imbalance, physiologically speaking. In some of us it takes more extreme form than in the population as a whole. For such sufferers the object must be to continue research into the causes of mental states and to learn how to alter them physically. I do not wish to sound contrary (let alone argumentative!). Psychology may work for some (less damaged / broken) minds. For other, physical intervention of some sort is necessary. As yet, effective physical intervention does not yet exist. Who knows, perhaps I am simply wrong. But 64 years of applying an active and serviceable mind to the question have led me inescapably to this conclusion.
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I definitely agree on the limits of talk therapy. Some of us are just built along different lines. I sometimes try and puzzle cause and effect, personality and event. Did who I am lead to certain events occurring? Did certain events cause growth in a certain direction? Is it a combination of both? All I know for sure is that my brain, in some instances, works differently than other people I know. But I’m lucky that exceptionally robust fear is not a significant problem of mine; I’m grateful.
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Yes, I have often thought along the same somewhat unconstructive lines. Did I cause this or that, dis this or that event cause this or that symptom in me. My fear, when it comes, is not (or is rarely) of death or some physical event. Or of anything in particular. Essentially there is probably no purpose in thinking it through. One day we will be able to rewire or genes, rewrite our brains. Until that time my suspicion is that we are stuck with who or what we are. Which im some cases can be most unfortunate!
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It reminds me of asking for permission vs. an apology.
I have to admit that I try to take the middle route. I hate having “what ifs,” but I dislike oops just as much.
Hopefully, this year you will be able to satisfy your curiosity without too many oops.
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Very apt timing for me to see right now given what I just posted about!
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Yup! 😅
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