I wish I didn’t care so much.

I wish I didn’t care about anything but myself. It would make life a lot easier to navigate. I bet people who truly don’t care don’t suffer from mood disorders. I care about so many things I even anthropomorphize. I get guilt if I don’t rescue a worm from the sidewalk. What if it’s scared or frightened? I worry if I don’t acknowledge both of the stuffed animals that sit on my desk; I’m afraid if I pet only one, the other’s feelings will be hurt...

coffee and control

"It’s a new year and time for new resolutions. luckily, I didn’t make any; still, those niggling and imperfect behaviours I usually resolve to change are on my mind. Like my caffeine and nicotine use. I didn’t make a new year’s resolution to cut back, but possibly reducing my consumption is something I think about quite often. Instead, it’s the new year and the number of cups I quaff is up, and the smoking is escalating..."

let the thoughts go

"it’s challenging when it feels like your brain is out of your control; when it persists in thinking thoughts you’d rather it didn’t...i have spent a significant quantity of time ranting and raving over my inability to shut down my brain and to deny these thoughts life. no matter the internal or external volume, repeatedly berating myself didn’t work. something new was needed..."