My life feels odd. I’m adrift mentally and emotionally. I’m still bleeding from a multiplicity of wounds received in rapid succession. Things have calmed enough now to feel and attend to them. My brain is also starting to calm. My thinking brain is turning back on. Things don’t go well for me when reactivity is driving the bus. I don’t have much in the way … Continue reading puttering.
I haven’t spent a day without at least one open wound on my person since I was nineteen, usually on my face. My work on eating disorder recovery is going well, but learning not to cut obsessively at the “imperfections” on my face is harder. [i] A combination of things led to the pattern of behaviour that doctors and other smart people now want to … Continue reading The healing of (passive aggressive) wounds.
* Eating disorders are easily-triggered bastards. I’ve realized that this is because it doesn’t want me to have information that might help. Articles and stories about eating disorder recovery tend to make those of us suffering very uncomfortable. I often called “bullshit” on the information within. I also didn’t sit with uncomfortable feelings well. It would lead to an increase in anxiety and an explosion … Continue reading Eating disorders destroy the gut.
I quit smoking two years ago yesterday. It seems both longer and like no time at all. I’m not an ex-smoker who misses it. Though I’d tried before August 2020 to quit and had been unsuccessful, this time it took. I quit and didn’t look back. I wore the patch for a few days, had a few low-level cravings, and that was it. I worried … Continue reading Quit smoking or don’t, time marches on.
From Famine to Feast 