In case I didn’t mention it, I dropped one of my medications. In coordination with my doctors: I didn’t go rogue. If it turns out I did mention it, welcome to the update. * There’s been some good. The dread that accompanied the pill-taking is gone. I didn’t realize how heavy the burden had become …
I count. Not all the time, but not infrequently enough for the behaviour to surprise me when I notice. At least I count in my head most of the time. Doing that type of thing out loud brings questions I prefer not to answer. Ditto to all the oddities I sometimes exhibit – perhaps my …
"“As soon as we realize that in this very moment we already have enough, and we already are enough, true happiness becomes possible.” - Thich Nhat Hanh I read that this morning, after getting up, after getting dressed – no makeup but we do the best we can – putting on some jewellery, eating breakfast, and journaling. And, through it all, I felt like shit. I couldn’t maintain the moment. I was not enough..."
I’m not a hugger. I don’t like hugs; I never really have. My mom tells me I’ve been “hands off my body” since I was a child...
I don’t like change and I work hard to avoid it. Except sometimes. Mostly, however, that’s a truism. I don’t change my schedule. I don’t go to new grocery stores, even when I could save money by doing so. I don’t buy gas at the store across the street from my bodega even when it’s cheaper because I’m not familiar with it. I don’t vary the route I take through the neighbourhood when I walk. I don’t welcome new people. I do the same things at the same time on the same days and rarely change. I keep the same doctors and dentists, even if they aren’t doing the best job. Change is difficult for me. It’s agitating and anxiety-provoking...
