(December 5, 2017) When you’re trying to recover from an eating disorder, part of the challenge is food. How do you eat normally? What does normal look like? Unfortunately, advice abounds. Eat when you’re hungry. Eat on a schedule. Eat what you like. Eat a little of everything. Stop when you’ve had enough. Stop when your plate’s empty. Choose a vegetarian diet. Eat meat. Stick … Continue reading Breakfast with bulimia.
(November 29, 2017) A guarantee: if the sentence starts with “you should just,” what comes after nothing you want to hear. “Should” is on the evil side. “Just” implies an ease of execution that’s often disconnected from reality. When you put them together, they create a phrase guaranteed to generate misery. It’s a safe bet that anyone struggling with mental illness has been presented with … Continue reading You should just.
(November 15, 2017) Recovering from an eating disorder is hard work. Recovery is a daily slog, tiring as hell, and the desire to quit the second you start is ever-present. Complaining reminds me that I’m blessed: I’m still here. Too many others I’ve known and cared for haven’t been as lucky. Unfortunately, it also sets off repeating rounds of self-criticism. According to my eating disorder, … Continue reading Letting the eating disorder go.
First times are generally seen as something special. The first bath. The first laugh. The first step, first day of school, and first kiss. We commemorate our firsts with pictures and stories. We add to our memory box. There was no camera the first time I threw up after a meal. I didn’t share my “triumph.” I was nineteen-years-old, living away from home for the … Continue reading First times.
