I’ve been thinking most of the time, and I don’t like it. It’s not good thinking. The thoughts are about things that hurt. They’re dissociative daydreams in which I interact with my daughter, mostly to my advantage. I purge the hurt that is plaguing me by decimating her. I don’t like those trains of thought, so I generally redirect. I remain a nasty vigilante but … Continue reading I’ve been thinking some more.
Long ago, in a galaxy that is this one, my employer decided that the annual holiday party should be a dinner and carolling cruise around the Vancouver harbour. Open bar. Dinner cruising is a popular local pastime – yachts of various sizes run them year-round featuring this theme or that one. They host them for the annual summer fireworks festival as well, though if you … Continue reading When you can’t get out.
If I use the phrase, “my first book,” it might perhaps push me to work on the autobiography that sits unopened and glaring at me from the corner of my desktop. It’s been some time since I dusted it off, and while I think I probably should, that’s not going to happen today. I’m avoidant. I’m reeling a bit from an interaction with my daughter, … Continue reading My first book, revisted.
I don’t like doughnuts. I find them greasy and mostly unsatisfying. I wonder if I’d have developed an affection for them if I hadn’t developed an eating disorder. Foods like doughnuts are forbidden. They’re empty calories that will definitely make you fatter than you are. You eat a doughnut when you have an eating disorder, and your brain will lecture you about that personal failure … Continue reading Apple fritters for breakfast.
From Famine to Feast 