Posts about, among other things, mental illness, mental health, and recovery.
My life feels odd. I’m adrift mentally and emotionally. I’m still bleeding from a multiplicity of wounds received in rapid succession. Things have calmed enough now to feel and attend to them. My brain is also starting to calm. My thinking brain is turning back on. Things don’t go well for me when reactivity is driving the bus. I don’t have much in the way … Continue reading puttering.
*There are some references to suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts. Check your mental state before you continue.* I made my father feel awful the other day. To be fair, I’ve asked for space. Repeatedly. From more than one parent. I’ve even said, explicitly, that it’s because I get mean when I’m triggered like this. I’m thin-skinned, reactive, and aim the knife well. This would be … Continue reading The inside voices.
Would you like to know my definition of bitch? Beauty In Total Control, Honey. [i] My brain is calmer today and I haven’t even picked up the meds my psychiatrist added to my regimen to make it shut up. I need to reset to a state where I can manage my dysfunction. The drug’s called loxapine, and the reviews on effectiveness by people who’re struggling … Continue reading You say “bitch” like it’s a bad thing.
I can’t write. It’s not working for me right now. I think it’s because I’ve got things locked up tight. There’s too much going on, too much that has to get done, and too many petty grievances. If I let things go, only a crater will remain. Perhaps I can send out invitations to those who annoy? I do find water painting to be a … Continue reading spring morning.
From Famine to Feast 