It’s been a rough week. I’d been getting a little thin, so I thought I’d gain a little weight. I didn’t talk to anyone beforehand, of course. At any rate, I’ve gained some, but between working on my body dysmorphia and a strained effort at reconnection by my daughter (I can hear my counsellor’s voice, “why are you giving her this much power over you,” … Continue reading Early memes were fun.
TW: frank talk about mental illness, cutting, blood Body dysmorphia My obsession with my appearance began young, but self-mutilation only started in my twenties. It was tied to my eating disorder – cutting and picking at my face were part of my bulimic process – but it’s also an entity of its own and hasn’t stopped with my eating disorder recovery, though it’s significantly less … Continue reading Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
I’m folding a couple of the T-shirts that haven’t yet been demoted to dryer status when all of a sudden, I’m thinking about my son’s father’s reaction when I told him I was pregnant. We limped along for another two and a half years, but he never quite forgave me. [i] That isn’t what I’m thinking about, however. I’m thinking about the day he came … Continue reading Memories are the darndest thing.
Some pathologies stump your growth – literal and/or metaphoric. Eating disorders are in that category. Eating disorders quickly become your everything. Other affections, beliefs, or values become subordinate to the demands it makes. I was a vegetarian on principle – I hate factory farms – except when I binged. I believed in feminism, except when it got in the way of my need to be … Continue reading Who are you and how do you want to spend your one, precious life.
From Famine to Feast 