Stream of consciousness and PET scans.

I’ve started and discarded a multitude of pieces over the past weeks. some, for sure I can’t connect to them. They’re meaningless blather for all that they flowed from my fingers. I suppose I could write about the puttering. I’ve been painting things, like rooms and trim. I’ve been organizing as well: half the garage is now home to a future dump run, and I’ve … Continue reading Stream of consciousness and PET scans.

So. Death.

I didn’t think I was still bothered by death. We’re not unacquainted, after all. I thought I had more equanimity about the process. I can talk the talk. We’re dying from the moment we’re born. We’re mortal. The clock starts ticking the moment we first draw breath. None of us knows when our time is up. Death isn’t a tragedy; it’s simply a function of … Continue reading So. Death.

When I die.

I forgot the anniversary of my grandmother’s birthday this year. It’s the first time that’s happened since she died. I realized, once I remembered, that after I’m gone, she really will be dead. All the way dead. The people who live only in my memory will be gone as if they never were, lost save for a marker somewhere, if that. My children never met … Continue reading When I die.