Eating disorders are about “shoulds,” but the rules turn into bars that trap you. I’m escaping: I’ve been easing my way back to the real world, but because some of me is still captive, some of the behaviours remain and try to exercise influence. They offer opinions on how I’m “supposed” to live my life. There’s a “correct” way to do things (I know this … Continue reading Carbs and Cages.

I’m not big on anniversaries. My own, at any rate: I remember important ones that other people best not forget. Anxiety-extension: the fallout from other people’s screwups and potential screwups. I don’t like feeling other people’s pain when there’s an easy solution: keep them in my thoughts and on my calendar. I wish I weren’t responsible for the world. I quit smoking last summer. Six … Continue reading There’s strangeness afoot.

I’m reading – still- Bessel van der Klok’s The Body. And listening to an excellent playlist. And standing because I sit too much in general. I’ve heard sitting is the new smoking. Like we’re not all going to die at some point. Random thoughts keep intruding and my attention keeps wandering. Would I have been a good Vegas singer? Is this house high enough if … Continue reading Random thought number something.