I’m trying to become a better person. Part of the reason is to atone. I spent a great many years being not a good person. It’s a feature of eating disorders. They make you selfish and insular and shortsighted. I regret, greatly, a great many of the things I said and did when my eating disorder was at my worst. I would like, very much, to be a better person in the future. So, I decided to actively work on it… Continue reading Trying to be a better person.
If everything was perfect, I’d be okay. My brain would be at ease. I know this, absolutely. I have no evidence to support this belief but it has rattled in my brain forever. If only I was perfect, everything would be fine… Continue reading If everything was perfect.
…I get overwhelmed by sensory input at times. I don’t like crowds, or even just a large number of friends together. I don’t like loud noises for sustained periods. I don’t like a lot of physical touch; hugs and arms slung around my shoulders are mostly a no-go. I don’t like excessive visual inputs – things like strobe lights start to bother me very quickly. And there are a lot of things I don’t like about clothing. I’d be probably go naked more often if I didn’t have that whole body-hatred thing going on… Continue reading Picky about clothes.
It’s not other people’s job to identify my boundaries, it’s my job to make them clear.
It’s not other people’s job to monitor my boundaries, it’s my responsibility to enforce them.
I hate the truth in those statements…
Continue reading Guard your own borders.
From Famine to Feast 