Not too hot, not too cold.

I love watching “Miss Congeniality.” It’s funny without descending into the overtly stupid. And while there are gem-moments aplenty – who doesn’t want to do UV paint drumming with Sandra Bullock? – I think perhaps my favourite scene is the contestant interviews that take place early in the competition. In response to being asked to describe her perfect date, Cheryl, the sweetly naïve Miss Rhode … Continue reading Not too hot, not too cold.

Recovering from eating disorders.

Eating disorders have one goal: they want you dead. They hide that under “be thin, be fit, be healthy, be perfect, be beautiful,” but they don’t actually care about those things. If they did, the goalposts wouldn’t continually move. You can’t win with an eating disorder and living while trying to maintain it is a halflife. When you give up alcohol or drugs, you can … Continue reading Recovering from eating disorders.

Gluten, aspartame, and food allergies, oh my.

Four weeks ago, I started an elimination diet to check for food allergies and intolerances. It’s been suggested for years but I’ve been resistant. My eating disorder is fine with it controlling what I eat, but less down with other people’s impositions. I suppose that’s ironic, a structured eating situation unwilling to accept another structured eating situation? Part of it’s control – I dislike not … Continue reading Gluten, aspartame, and food allergies, oh my.

The Life Cycle of an Eating Disorder, and My Recovery So Far, part two.

Until quite recently, I was afraid to eat a lot of things. I didn’t reintroduce banned foods back into regular rotation. I struggled to accept a different body. What if I got fat and bad things happened? But bad things happen regardless of weight. I knew that, but I didn’t know it if you know what I mean.   But things have changed fundamentally of … Continue reading The Life Cycle of an Eating Disorder, and My Recovery So Far, part two.