An off-the-cuff production
This has been an interesting holiday season for me. My mom died a year ago. It turns out that most of my interest in participating in Christmas is related to her. I’m not religious, and once she died, the urge to join in on the day’s festivities disappeared as well.
This isn’t to say I didn’t want other people to be happy. I made sure my dad and my children had plans for the day. I talked to my brothers about grief and the coming holiday. And I made it clear to all that for myself, the day would be spent quietly, at home alone, and so it was.
In fact, it was the best Christmas I’d had in some time, excluding my mother’s absence. It was an absolutely relaxed and easy day, and I didn’t have the weird feeling of let-down at the end that I’ve so often experienced on Christmases past.
In an odd way, I’m looking forward to the anniversary of my mother’s death on January 3rd. The passing of the first year feels like an important milestone. It’s a reminder that we survive, that life goes on, and that we start learning to live with those who have left us.
I am getting used to the mom-shaped hole.
I was not interested in Christmas, but I am interested in the start of a new chapter. That’s a good mindset to approach a new year with, I think.
There are all kinds of beginnings, after all.
Wishing you and yours all the best for the new year. Thank you for listening and supporting me during this past one. Happy 2025.





Happy New Year!
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Happy New Year!!!
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Iโve been thinking about ways to honor my dadโs memory on his death anniversary, so what you said really resonates with me.
I’m sending you so much love as you navigate tomorrow. ๐โค๏ธ
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Thank you. I very much appreciate that ๐
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Glad your Christmas was relaxing, all the best for the new year!
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Thinking of you on jan 3
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Thank you
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Happy New Year
Here’s to surviving the life that goes on. ๐ฅ
~B
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Thank you
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I’m glad you had a nice Christmas. My mother passed on Christmas Eve, which continues to impact the way I feel around that time. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, I got to spend Christmas Eve only with my partner (while in previous years I was obliged to attend other social functions with a multitude of people). It was wonderful! Happy New Year!
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The body definitely remembers these things and times.
I fully enjoyed doing the holidays my way. What a revelation.
Happy new year to you ๐
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