Haragei is a Japanese concept that gives us a lens through which we can view what is communicated silently between us. This profound non-verbal …
Haragei: The Art of Unspoken Understanding
Haragei: The Art of Unspoken Understanding
Haragei is a Japanese concept that gives us a lens through which we can view what is communicated silently between us. This profound non-verbal …
Haragei: The Art of Unspoken Understanding
From Famine to Feast. 
We read the linked article and its linked article on Wikipedia. We felt confused that the author chose to focus only on the pleasant or fulfilling aspects of this kind of exchange.
Our instinct says not achieving harmony, not meeting needs to be seen and known, via this method would be as likely or more likely than achieving it. And we feel interested in how to make space for the experiences that are not just 10/10 fulfilling.
The Wikipedia article says this tactic is sometimes used for manipulation in negotiating and some people view it suspiciously. Wonder why that wasn’t in the blog post?
We have probably felt drawn to and repelled by people based on unspoken exchanges. The “drawn to” Is probably more memorable. Maybe that’s why the linked blog emphasized it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Non-verbal cues weigh heavily on how I communicate with people. It’s partially why I struggle some online. I found the idea of deliberately incorporating the non-verbal fascinating.
I think harmony in outcome with this style of communication is more likely in places where it’s culturally common. I think for us here, it’s more like a tool to improve things.
I like the question “how to make space for the experiences that are not just 10/10 fulfilling.” Isn’t it strange that we try to? I very much hustle my experiences that way at times.
I find the experience of being repelled by someone based on the nonverbal disconcerting. I often second guess my instincts. That’s usually a mistake.
I think we’re all trying to connect. I think that’s perhaps why the author emphasizes the “drawn to” aspect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“I think we’re all trying to connect.” We feel warmth and hope at this idea
LikeLiked by 1 person
Intuition and instincts are often ruled by unspoken cues received during interactions (or observations) of others. I lean heavily on my intuition and instincts when it comes to judging a person’s character, motivations, and intentions. I’m pretty good at sussing out the negative folks and am always delighted to meet wonderful people.
LikeLiked by 1 person